Posted in Life


Mondays and Tuesdays are my days off, but they quickly turned to crap when I woke up on both days with a stuff and site neck. It even hit my shoulders. So I bought a new pillow today and it’s pretty nice. So far so
I gotta get to sleep soon. Work in the morning.
I just wanted to tell you I’m alive and slowly getting things together in my life.
I honestly get distracted too much. I’m working on it!

Posted in Life


In regards to relationships, you can not expect to get something, if you do not give anything. Does that make sense?
Let me start from the beginning. Right now I am snuggled with my blanket against a wall. I’m super cozy and I know I can’t sleep because I slept all day. My mind is wandering and I am just here. I an not doing anything at all, no YouTube, no Facebook, no Netflix. I am just here. In the moment.
Let’s begin. (This is gonna be a weird one.)
My Sunday normally starts around, 5 o’clock in the morning. But today for some reason I woke up late. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking its the best thing ever, but I woke up late for work. When I was sleeping, I apparently forgot that I had one more day of work.
I sped, who wouldn’t. I got there at 6:10 Not bad for leaving at 5:59. It’s a 25 minute drive.  I’m sorry for speeding. I won’t do it again. I just needed to get there, I can’t afford not to be there. I called and told them I would be 15 to 25 minutes late too.
Mothers day is a busy day at a hotel downtown. I loved it. It kept my mind off of drowsy thoughts. Then I got home. It was 12:20. I was tired. I had a good day and I wanted to sleep. My boyfriend was at work. Time for myself. He worked a double today and probably pulled it all the way through.
I slept all day then went to dinner by myself had two fabulous drinks and a meal. Got home a while later and attempted to sleep but really just laid in bed and now it’s 12:23 am and he still isn’t home. That’s why I’m stuck in some drowsy thoughts guys. Thinking about the negativity and trying to explain it all. How I feel and how I think a relationship should go, not to just benefit me. We need better communication. And I’m struggling to put my thoughts into words. Until the few moments where I got up and grabbed my phone to write this.
Now, what I came up with is compromise. I never really understood what it meant and why it was needed in relationships until now. Because we’re living together and we have shared space, but also because we are two different people coming together with love. We have to give and take to make it work when your comitted. In a committed relationship. How else do you let someone you love do things you don’t like? And vice versa, how can they let you do something that they don’t like. But why even do it. Don’t you want to make the other person happy, so why do things that knowingly make them upset. Discuss the topic. Learn eachothers feelings. Compromise. In a relationship you can’t be completely selfish, nor your partner. Right? Or wrong? Tell me your opinions? This is like a thing I think about a lot. It’s a shadow.

Posted in Life

Saturday Morning


It’s Saturday morning and all I want to do is go back to bed, but this is my lovely view downtown. The clouds are shrouding the city but the sun is still persistent to shine through.
In the mornings, I make coffee in a hotel from 6 to 11 or so. I do this 5 days a week, each day is different. The weather is changing slightly. I used to record pictures of my view everyone sunrise. Now it’s getting to early for me to do that. I love watching night turn into Dawn. The rising sun shining through the buildings. I love waking up before everyone else. Granted, I don’t get a lot of sleep, but being an early riser is nice. Its very calming and it’s a time where I can collect myself without the distraction of others.
I wake up between 4:30 and 5:20 and I’m out the door at 5:30 no matter what.
Today is the first day of the farmer’s market downtown and it’s kinda busy. Saturday’s are going to keep being busy I guess because of it. I want more people to get coffee so I can keep busy.
I work behind a bar and have access to mixing ingredients. I like playing around with flavors in coffee and lemonade. Well, that’s what I wanted to say.




Posted in Life

Hammocking 2016

First Hammock of the year! Perfect weather, 65○F.

It’s early afternoon, I sent my boyfriend off to work and quickly decided what I wanted to do. There were so many options, I could spend more time working out, maybe go for a run…. I could go for a drive then run.
Oh! I know, I could go hammocking and since the sky was beautiful, I’ll bring my camera and tripod. So I took the long way out to the lake, stopped on the side of the road and snapped a few scenic views here and there.
I continued on my journey to hammock, destined to stop anywhere by any means to take a photo. All winter, I’ve been wanting to take some photos, but I was not ready to shoot some cold things. Spring is here and my heart is pumping. I feel so good in the nice weather, but I think everyone does. I drove with my windows down and my sun roof open, thinking of nothing and listening to the Good Vibes playlist on Spotify. It’s kind of my feel good music.
When I got to the park I wanted to hammock at, it was closed. Luckily the park is next to a campground where there was available parking. I grabbed my backpack and my tripod and began my short hike to my two trees.
At first I wanted to walk all the way to the back of the park, try to get to an opening in the trees where I could set up my hammock and get an awesome view of the lake, I’ll have to find that next time though. When I got about halfway, I heard construction going on in the nearby neighborhood and I decided that dull buzzing sound was not on my list of happiness today and turned around. I found two trees that seemed complicated by made due and set up my mini camp. I took a few videos and photos of myself in the hammock because why not and I also wrote a little in my journal. I decided that the nature was doing wonders for me, so I might as well enjoy it.
After my hammock craving was satisfied for today, I packed up and head out towards the military tanks by a base camp. I climbed on top of one and took pictures as the sun drifted to the other side of the world. It was a beautiful sunset, perfect for a beautiful day.


Posted in Life

Washington Bound

I am in Washington mode. I’m going to do all that I can to get a better paying job, while still working at Teavana. I’m going to try to pay off credit card debt and car payments and attempt to save money for my move eventually hopefully 2 years. I would love to be out faster, so I even went as far as to set up a GoFundMe page.
So that happened. The struggle of money is real.

Posted in Life


Last night I was at my friends house and hanging out with her until 1:30 AM. It helped me remember that time flies when your having fun. That’s what I did last night, I had an awesome time just hanging out. It was wonderful. This person is just wonderful in general. There wasn’t a single boring moment. I wanted to stay over there all night. We were upstairs talking while her boyfriend and friends play with music really really loud in the basement. It was awesome. I loved it, I was completely okay with it wherever we were in the house. It was, in fact, my type of music. We shared stories and talked about pretty much anything, it was all over the place. I, once again, loved it. No judgement, awesome knowledge and some  wisdom for me. I shared my story characters and plot ideas. It got even better when we drank tea. I feel like that was a highlight of the night, since right before that, we drove to hyvee and got chips n dip.
Oh! I almost forgot to mention that any situation that includes pets and, more importantly: cute, fat, sassy cats, becomes an instant winner. She has a cat and three dogs in her house. Love it. Her roomates were cool, I was in a happy place. Positive vibes all around. I loved it.
It was a really good night and I needed that I’m my life right now. I need to keep looking up.
I’m another Positive note, I’m still working out. Just two days now, but I’m actually doing it. Yesterday I cut out a lot of sugar. I drank a total of five 16 oz cups. Four at work, three of them were iced.
-Silver Needle, Purify, Dragonfruit Devotion
-Gyoukuro Imperial
-Golden Dragon, Peachberry Jasmine Sutra
The other, hot.
-Darjeeling de Triomphe
-Winterberry (Strawberry Grapefruit Xue Long & Strawberry Lemonade)
The only tea that was sweetend was the last one. It is one of my favorites and I wanted a tiny treat and It was perfect. I raved about it to my friend. I ate decently, nothing super sweet or greasy. Subway, chips n dip. Ham and cheese. I was pretty satisfied with that.

Posted in Life

Leg day

I made up a work out plan, I actually did it and it’s thanks to my reconnection with Pinterest. I used to aspire to buy and do so many things because of that website, but then I lost interest. It happens sometimes, life gets in the way.
I’m back though. I’ve decided to make a list of workouts for Monday through Sunday. Each day targets a different area.
Monday – weekstarter(sun salutations, more stretching). Tuesday – back & chest(weight lifting, so arms included). Wednesday – core(all focus on stability and balance). Thursday – thigh & butt(repitition form). Friday – Leg(more thigh and but action, more energetic and fast paced). Saturday and Sunday I had an option of either an really intense yoga sequence or going for a run and doing a full body workout. I left it as an option for a rest day as well.
I decided this plan up yesterday when I did Thursdays workout. It was intense and it made me want to workout more because I missed to feeling. I did Fridays today and that was nice, made me want to go run but I don’t want to overwork myself. I have to work later. I am keeping track of the dates I workout by writing it down and I also keep track of other things on a daily basis. I’m enjoying this, I got my taxes back too, that went bye bye real fast. I was struggling with money for a little but, but I am okay for now. Hopefully getting another job here soon to help with cash flow. The struggle is real, but I feel okay. I’m doing research on astrology too. Not too much, just basics. I want to see when it can take me. I’m trying to read more as well, but the internet distracts me. I’ll get there though.

Posted in Life


My challenges this new year is to form habits. I’m challenging myself to do Yoga everyday. I bought a Yoga book on anatomy so i can put together sequences to really target what I want to do myself. Today is Day two of Yoga. (by the way, I am now deciding to document my experience.)

I didn’t write about Day One because it really wasn’t a day one. I put up my free yoga poster and decided to try it out. I didn’t even commit to the whole thing, so today, I tried something easier but something can be difficult. I did 3 sun salutations. The first two, did more as a flow to get myself warmed up and to feel doing yoga again. It felt amazing, to be honest. My body felt vitalized and my muscles felt more relaxed. The third time I did the sequence, I held every post for at least 5 deep breaths. I tried to hold the challenging poses longer, like the plank and chaturanga. I also tried to focus on stretching and gaining more flexibility. I definitely want to work this practice into the morning times. I just like to sleep.

Another challenge I am doing is Writing from the senses. It’s a book that I am reading and writing from. I may or may not post something on the prompts I get. I’ve only gotten two prompts done and I started yesterday. Jimmy and I took turns reading aloud and then I had an awesome flashback i needed to get down. My goal has been 300 words for each from minimum.

Besides challenges, everything else is okay. I am ahead on payments so far, and I am looking forward in February to hear back about a certain position at work and that will further make me choice in the future. I’m excited and looking forward to it.

Posted in Life


Imagine a world where everything feels as if you are in the best moment of your life. Imagine that the sky was so blue that you couldn’t help but flop down on a pillow of grass and a blanket of clovers. Your toes are tickled by the breeze and the sun soaks into your skin like lotion after a steamy shower. The birds sing beautiful melodies that move your heart and you feel connected to life. The clouds dance over the sky as the birds ride the winds. The trees sway to the music in your head, and the flowers look a little bit brighter than usual. Imagine you at the happiest moment in your life, it might have been yesterday. It just happens so casually; you are shopping at a store and the store clerk seems so happy to be alive. S/He transfers his love of life and work into you and you feel so boosted. All of a sudden, life seems great. It is very true that a smile can turn a persons life around. You should be obsessed with being happy, no one wants to be angry or sad. In order to be happy, you have to accept that not everything is going to just be good. Life is only hard and sad if you make it that way, and I know… It’s easier said than done, but that’s why a smile or a friendly visit helps even if its just a little bit.

Anyway, I have been obsessed with a particular song. It’s called “We Don’t have to take our clothes off” by Ella Eyre. I don’t know if its a cover or whatever but I love this song. It’s beautiful and romantic and she sings it perfectly. I’ve been listening to this song a lot and I am loving the way I can sing it. I found the songs I would love to sing. I highly recommend listening to the words and she expresses herself. It makes me feel like I should buy Adele’s album. I love Adele too. As a cute little update on my life…

Yesterday I had a cute visit with the Judge. I had court because of no registration & Insurance. I have both now. She is dropping the registration charge but I need to pay the other portion. Oh well, it’s my own fault. On top of that I was late to court and I was working too hard during the weeks before to actually get an attorney to try to drop all the fees. Oh well, next time I won’t have this problem. My boyfriend and I have been overindulging in watching the Naruto Shippuden on Hulu. I’ve seen most of them and have actually finished the series in Manga form, but I am re-watching them with him. I’ve been trying to get back into writing, NaNoWriMo didn’t help because of working two jobs. Both are intense pieces of work. They both have their ups and downs and it’s pretty rough working pretty much 50 some hours a week total. Give or take a day off or so. It’s going to be that way for a while now, but Friday… I get paid from both jobs, plus a bonus check. I’m excited. Too bad I will be broke once again since I have to pay my bills: Phone, credit card, health, car payment… Gas. Thats it for these next two weeks. Sometimes I hate being an adult. I wish I could just save my money and mooch off of my parents, but they aren’t very wealthy or abundant in money so I have to sorta fend for myself. I don’t exactly see it myself but my grandparents are proud of me, that makes me pretty happy. I wish I could afford to see them for the holidays, I might use my tax return for a trip up there, and I would so pay for my boyfriend to go with me. I’d be happy for him to come with me.

Another notable thing that has happened is the changing of our bedroom. We moved a lot of stuff around so now we have a lot of room on the floor so I am going to be getting back into yoga and probably reading. The babe and I our going to work out together for our new years resolution and hopefully by then I will figure out my money and job situation. Anyway, we are going to work out together and we are going to start eating healthier and actually start doing date nights since we don’t do much outside of our own home and we need to start doing that again. Going on walks or to the park or movies. It gets expensive but it will be nice. Maybe a movie once a month but every week we go to park and chat or walk or have a picnic or something of the sort. I’m sure he and I are going to go ice skating again. In the mall that I work at, every Tuesday is half off movie night. It’s super nice. I also want to get back into reading all of my books so I can decide what ones I should keep to re-read or which ones I should sell. I am just like my grandma when I don’t want to get rid of anything. I could use it someday. I don’t know when, but I might use it. It’s really sad that I say that about books…

“Oh, I’ll read this sometime!” I put the book in my cart as I past all the other ones on the shelf. I stop and think to myself about all the books I have and take a few steps back. I look at all my options and decided to throw three more in the same series in the cart.I told myself that I would start reading when I get home. Little did I actually realize that when I pull into the parking lot and step foot into my bedroom that I would put the books on my self and forget about them until I felt like reading again. Only then would I realize that I don’t need all of these books and then I sell them. The books will only collect dust, just like all of my other things. That’s why the only thing I should spend money on is food. I’ll definitely eat the ones that I like or don’t really have to cook(cereal, ice cream, cookies, etc).

I have some seriously bad habits, but hey! I got a boyfriend who can help me through the New Years Resolutions, so that’s a thing. My NYR’s are to work out, eat right, and save money all the while being healthy, happy, and totally not stressed out. It’s going to be hard but it’ll be okay. Keep in mind that this is the year I turn 21…

Am I adulting correctly?


Posted in Life


Okay, time for some crappy personal stuff. My dad got fired from his job, most likely his fault, can’t really trust what he says. That means, no insurance for me! Yippie. That means, I need to find a higher paying job so I can get some benefits on my back.

Lets be honest here, Teavana is an amazing job, I’ve met so many people that have learned to love the art of tea and that have fallen in love with certain things that I talk about. It is pretty amazing to be sharing all this information that I learned and to be a part of a growing franchise that is connected to Starbucks. That company is pretty awesome and I wish that I can stay working there. But, I need more money. I need to get my car, credit card, and medical bill payed off. I need to get myself some health insurance and car insurance now since my dad can’t afford it. I need to get more money. I need to work my ass off so I can be okay. I’m not happy about that. Right now, I’m not happy with just working at Teavana. I have Mondays and Tuesdays off with my boyfriend, that is my favorite part. But I can’t wait forever to hear back from Teavana to see if I am going to get a higher paying position. I can’t afford it. I also need to save at least 1,500 by next year. I want to save even more, so I need more money. I need to. I want to.

I’m looking at jobs, I am being slightly picky, even though I shouldn’t be. I’ve applied at 3 places. 2 places as a server, and another at a sub shop kind of like Palmer’s. I need to get my application out there at anywhere. I want to find a bakery to work at, because I love baking.

It’s Thursday right now, it’s my day off. I’m going to relax a bit and apply to a lot of places. I just wanted to throw an update out there.