Thoughts for today

Its that time of year again, Holidays right around every corner it seems like. Holidays are never the same once you lose someone, and its hard to fill the empty spots of the heart when they are no longer here. I still try to fathom that my grandfather is no longer here and that I can no longer talk with him. I knew it was going to happen eventually, I just didn’t know it would be then. Time has passed, a couple years now. June 2021 will mark year 3 of him being gone. I still can’t believe it – and I will say I forgot the sound of his voice.

I couldn’t remember his voice, so I tried searching through past cell phones and the voicemails and I couldn’t find anything. I was heart broken so I gave up on looking – that was over a year ago.
The other day I bought a new laptop for myself, and I was working on transferring files from my previous one when I found something. In 2016 I had a zoom call with my grandpa, just to talk. He was in Idaho, and I in Iowa. I don’t even remember the conversation we had, but in the zoom file from my old computer I found some audio and a video clip that wasn’t even meant to be recorded. When I clicked on it I couldn’t even recognize the voice at first, but when the video popped up – my heart burst. It was him, and that was his voice. Now I remember. And I want to embrace that memory and make it live forever.

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