The time that I was off of here has been a rollercoaster of emotions and a jungle gym of challenges. I have no easy way of explaining what has gone on this past year or so, but I’ll try my best to sum some things up.
2017 to 2018 has been wild. Now every year is different but everyone goes through a year that can change everything for them. Or at least, majority of it. Its been like that for me. I separated from my previous boyfriend last year, moving out of our first apartment and experiencing a place with friends. With the relationship stress out of the way for the time being, I spent time to myself and working away. Teavana was on its last legs and so I decided to move on to a different occupation. I started working as an optician, and I love it. I’m learning a lot on the job and I still get to create wonderful human interactions. The work is challenging but exciting. After a few months, I got in a relationship and it’s amazing. I feel completely different than before, but every relationship is different. I really enjoy how he makes me feel and how real and upfront he is. He is emotional too and really enjoys getting out and doing things. It’s only the beginning. Some troubles with the house caused some stress but I got it sorted out mostly, not without a ‘fight’ though.
Then June 2018 came into the picture. The turning point of the year and the turning point of my year. My grandfather became hospitalized due to a heart attack. I called him in the hospital the day before he was supposed to have the surgery, he was tired and a little groggy but he told me he loved me and I the same. The next day he went into surgery for a triple heart bypass, the surgery went well but his heart muscles weren’t strong enough. When my family members in Idaho called to tell my mom and I, we drove 24 hours from Iowa. We arrived on father’s day and he was under. He wasn’t going to be able to talk to us. His heart sustained too much damage and after the surgery, it was only at 40%. He had multiple organ failure and a not really a chance… My mom and I visited him the next couple days and on June 19th at 5:36 AM his heart stopped beating as I held his hand. He did it himself and that’s what all of his family wanted. There’s a lot more I want to say but, I can’t find the words right now. I’m still coping with all of it and it hasn’t really gotten easier. On a plus side, my grandmother is back in Iowa now and she looks much healthier and happier, surrounded by her great grandbabies (my two nephews) and me and her daughter. Things are really different now, it’s going to be hard with out my idol here. But I know he’s always watching out for me. Since my grandpa’s passing, it’s been a struggle trying to find myself and I see it hindering a little bit of my work and my friendships but even my relationship. I feel like I am getting back on my feet, but every day is hard.
Right now its 9:12 AM and I have to leave for work. I’ll try and get back into my blogging, its been too long.