Again.

I can’t wait for days in the sun, driving with the windows down and listening to my music just a little louder. I can’t wait for the sunshine that makes me remember why I love the skies and the Earth.

I feel like I can be a happier me in the summer time, but that is a lie. I am the same all year round. I expect things to get better next time, but in reality I have to be the one to change. I can’t wait for the right time, the right time is now, all the time.  I feel like I don’t know anything though. I know a lot of things but at the same time I don’t know anything, you know?

Who am I? What do I really want to do? Where do I really want to go? I don’t know, I don’t even feel like I am going with the flow, but in a way I am.

The days have been going well. Work is awesome, I love working with my partners, and I love working with tea. The environment is always so positive and friendly. It’s a dream job for me. Home life is good. I have a hard time motivating myself to do things, but I am trying.

There are things that need to be done. There are things that I need to figure out and things that I need to focus on. I don’t know the true hard core specifics or where it will all take me, but I am willing to try hard and better myself. I still don’t know where the first steps are, or what first step there is to take. How do I start? Is there a way that will ensure my win? The biggest question is; how do you stay motivated the entire time. Do you think of the end goal every day? Do you meditate on it? How does your goal incorporate into your daily life?

I want to be more dedicated in the mornings, to the me time. Where no one is awake to disturb me. I can practice in the perfect morning atmosphere, when the room is still. I love the mornings that I have before work. They start the day fresh and new, I can get vamped and energized. Then set my mind in a positive state. I feel good during those times. When I get off work in the evening, I don’t know what to do. Should I read? Workout some more? I can do anything that I want to. I am an adult, I don’t need anyone to tell me a schedule, I set the schedule for myself. Its just hard to stick to goals after a full day of work.

I’ll find better ways to spend my time. I get overwhelmed so easily because there is so much to do and I just don’t know which task or hobby is more important. I guess I should just pick one and start.