Future Ideas

I have been planning out my future ideas out. In my head, sometimes on paper, or even here or in a few emails to my friend in Idaho. Here, I am going to explain a few things about my love status and what happens and how I think about things.

As many of my friends know or you readers might know, I tend to fall for someone fast. I am an easy going person and people are able to make me happy easily. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a short time, but a while ago when I saw him again for the first time (it was before we dated and we became just friends). I had a feeling that I want to know him as more than a friend. I don’t understand why I get those feelings, I am confused by them but I follow them anyway. Even if I get hurt, it is an experience that I want and will probably need later on in life. It is kind of like a theory, you never know unless you try and so I tried and I am still trying. I don’t really know how to go about it, but I know that in the beginning I tried not to come on too strong because I do that a lot, and I don’t think it really worked.

I had a lot of fun when we hung out and I told all my coworkers that I really liked him and it was insane how much I enjoyed his company and then he stopped talking to me out of nowhere, because his phone broke. I had no way to get into contact with him and I was even debating on showing up at his work and telling him off. In the end, I didn’t because I knew better, but oh did I want to and so did my friends.

After a while of not texting, I still had his number in my phone and I decided to text him when he actually responded. He got a new phone and lost all contacts, I still don’t know why he stopped talking to me, but it doesn’t matter anymore. It was chance number one that I gave him. We hung out more and talked a bit. He wasn’t very good at texting (he still isn’t) but he is getting better. Anyway, we ended up getting closer than ever and I made him ask me out, he’s never really done it before but he was super stoked as was I. We dated for a while and I met his mother and his good friends and I kept getting closer to him and I felt so amazing and I was super happy. Then I went to his friends house one night and some alcohol was involved and he stopped talking to me for almost two weeks. Then, I texted him a breakup and that was it. We didn’t talk for about half a month if not a month and then I deleted all of his information and I regretted that. I wanted to talk with him so much that it hurt, and even at my monthly dance party that I go to, I was in a corner all night unhappy. It was horrible, and I left and then a couple nights later he got a hold of me right after I wrote about him on here. I was shocked and I freaked out, we talked on the phone for a bit and I cried and then he asked if he could come over, and he did. We talked and I cried some more and we made up. We were still in a friend stage. I was giving him his second chance and I was okay with that. Not a lot of others were. He isn’t really messing up this time. One night we were talking and I just wanted to hold him and touch his face, and I did. We went to dinner with my family a little bit later and while we were on our way there, I grabbed his hand and drew letters in his palm.

“WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND”

Sadly it didn’t go so perfect, I had to ask him a couple times like that until he got the letters and he grabbed my hand and wrote his reply.

“SURE”

I know it is a horrible way to say that, I teased him about it too.

“Sure, just sure? I ask you out and you say that?”  He laughed about it and so did I, and just to confirm it, I texted him and asked if he was being serious and he was and here we are now. He spends a lot of time with me, and at work. I am surprised that he quit smoking and also he doesn’t hang out with his friends as much, which is okay. I was very surprised by it. I am super happy.

Slowly I am starting to dream of a future where he is involved. Every now and then I see glimpses of him next to me in my dreams or him with me in different places that I want to be in. He is getting so involved in my life and I find it amazing.