Feel

The day turns dark as I wait for those non-existent arms to hold me, and the lights turn low as I crawl into a bed that seems to big for just one individual.
The reasoning behind myself being alone, it’s unseen, you discuss nothing, no secrets, no stories, not even simple greetings… It seemed like everything we started got printed on the wrong side of the photo paper. It came out blurry and distorted. The page was all black almost like it was supposed to be that way… Like it was blank, as blank as the page I try to write on, write about us, write about you, but I ended up writing about me and how I thought we had something going, but it seemed to me that it was just temporary to you, because that’s what everything is in your amazing blue eyes. Nothing stays too long, nothing gets too great, it’s all created equal and you kill yourself trying to maintain it and if one doesn’t work out, you toss it to the side like my feelings were tossed in the trash and even the garbage men forgot to pick me up because my feelings were so loaded, and I was left on the side of the road that links me to you, but there is construction going on and that road has been shut down, and I was sitting there for two weeks while no one batted an eye, until the sign on this one way street read dead end and eventually it closed because nothing exists on this road anymore, and as time passes it seems like nothing existed in the first place. My feelings took a fall when I saw your smile, my heart raced to the beat of your soundtrack and even if it wasn’t my favorite song, I still held your hand because you liked it and I wanted to know you more just like how I read books, when I pick them up is hard to put down and stop the story in the middle of something with potential, I need to find out the end but I don’t want to skip ahead and I think that’s what happened. I exposed everything like the open Facebook on my unlocked desktop, my secrets were out and I hid nothing. I was ready to go all in and hopefully I’d win the lot but you played me like the fool i was and took all the winnings for yourself because I was blinded by your light while you snuck aces up your sleeve, I was left broke and disposed of and now I’m trying to repair what you ruined, you tore out the ending of this book and im not getting that closure i need to start a new one, but I’ll recreate it and put scotch tape over the torn edges to make it look like I read everything and that nothing was left unfinished. It’s a do it yourself kind of project but id like to call it the get off your ass and move on situation where I write my sorrows out and move on with my life because this book started out well written but it ended with shitty dialogue and crappy character development and this isn’t what i like in a story about myself.