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I tip-toed in the door and crept into my bedroom. It was late at night and my parents thought I was staying the night at my non-existent friends house. I got into my bedroom, slowly shut the door and pulled out my planner when I was comfortably quiet in my desk. I wrote about small but important actions that happened tonight, the scary men and Gavin-the woman who I admired who is actually a man! I was still feeling shock from that moment. He is very handsome and beautiful at the same time.
I shook my head, I can’t think about him in that way. I will never see him again. I space off, thinking about Gavin’s features and trying to recall everything that made me think he was a woman. There was no specific evidence other than the long hair that looked as if a woman take cares of it. I found myself drawing his portrait in my calendar, and I debated with myself on erasing it. I decided not to, I know have a friend whom I can share stories like this with, so I began to write about Gavin and how beautiful he is. I wrote about the ridiculous mistakes I made about his gender and I wrote about my feelings towards him. I scribbled down the meeting with Irisa and how grateful towards her and Gavin since he made me want to embrace the woman inside me. The night dragged on and I got ready for bed when I ran out of words to share.
Sunday morning was quiet, my parents were out of bed and somewhere in the country side, judging by the note plastered to the fridge. I debated on messaging Irisa to hang out, I wanted to share every detail with her, but I was nervous since she is my only girl friend. I decided to throw my heart out in the open and go through with the plan, and to my surprise, she responded. We were to meet at the station at 3. The temperature outside was very warm and sunny, so I intentionally left my wig at home and put my hair up into a hat, I wanted to share the truth about myself to her. When we met up, Irisa looked very casual, I never really see anyone with out their school uniform and no one ever recognizes me when I am not wearing mine, it feels like I am walking on a thin wire with my summer dress. At school, I usually wear the given uniform but shorts underneath, since I act like a guy, today I am being who I want to be.
She stands at the entrance to the station, looking at her watch from time to time, when she makes eye contact with me. I can tell by the way she looks at me that she knows who I am.
“Irisa, sorry for making you wait.” I mumble as I reach the destination.
“It’s totally fine! You look very cute!” She smiles wide and gives me a hug. “What do ya wanna do today?”
“Well, I was thinking that we could walk around in town and window shop, and perhaps we could stop at a cafe before or after because I have some things I want to show, and tell you.” I swallow hard as I notice my nervousness causes me to speak politely instead of casually as I am used to with the guys. Irisa nodded to my ideas with a worried look in her eye, I don’t blame her.
There was a cute strawberry colored cafe that is only open in the spring and summer, it is down the road from the club Gavin works at, but we go there anyway because I am a regular.
“I come here quite a bit on the weekends, when it is open. My favorite is the pink lemon slushy, and strawberry shortcakes. I’m an avid desert eater!” I laugh and relax quite a bit. Irisa nodded along to my suggestions on the menu and out waitress came over, it was Miche.
“Hello, can I take your- Oh wow! Nerine I couldn’t recognize you with your hat on, let down your hair, it is too hot for that.” By this remark, my friend seemed a bit confused, but I still felt relaxed.
“Well, I needed to do something and it needed to be up for me to do it, I just never put it down.” I laughed it off and we ordered.
“Thank you for your order! It should be done soon, I’ll see ya later Nerine.” Miche walked away and Irisa stared at me, obviously confused.
“Hair?” She cleared her throat. “Isn’t your hair short?” I shook my head and began telling her the story about my younger years and how I was bullied, I continued with the history of my parents and the wig that I wear at school. She looked at me in disbelief as I took my hair off.
“This feels… great.” I sighed and ran my fingers through my long hair.
“You look beautiful!” Irisa leaned over and touched my hair, she told me it was silky and soft. I was surprised at her reaction.
“You aren’t mad?”
“No! I’m here for you, you are beautiful either way and when you want to change for yourself, I am here to help you.” Her smile was super sweet and I genuinely smiled back.
“Thank you.” I felt tears prick at my eyes and Irisa looked amazed. “What?”
“Your expression was shockingly beautiful.” She told me as our food was set down on our table. We ate and chatted about school and I began to tell her the story of Gavin and how I met him. She seemed too excited for me and told me that she would help. After we finished our food she grabbed my arm and took me to a makeup store and picked out makeup for me. She asked the woman at the desk to show me how to apply makeup. It seemed like a daunting task but when it was finished, I felt and looked like a beautiful, tall woman.
“Nerine!” Irisa yelled.
“What?” She came up to me and pushed my lower back in and my shoulders back.
“You have to embrace your height, you are beautiful! Don’t let anyone ever say otherwise or I’ll beat them up!” We laughed and headed out the store with new items in our pocket when from the distance, I saw Gavin and unintentionally hid in the nearest ally.
“What is it!? Whats wrong?” She followed my gaze. “Is that him!? Holy cow, he is gorgeous! Perfect height for you!” She yelled.
“Sh! He can hear us I bet.” My heart pounded when Irisa grabbed me and pushed me toward him, however, she didn’t anticipate that I would trip in my kitten heel and launch forward.
“Nerine!” She reached out to try to grab me, but I fell into Gavin’s arms.
“We meet again, young lady.” His smile was sweet and he whispered in my ear. “You’re even more beautiful in the daylight.”
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