I don’t remember the last time I said I was going to change and then give up. It’s been quite a few times, but I am serious this time and determined. I want to get back on track with the start of a new life. It’s super difficult with all the sweets from my job surrounding me. I’m building my will power up. I’m going to eat a salad every day, eat breakfast. I want to feel amazing. Tumblr fitblrs are helpful and pinterest is too.
I’ve been working out for three days now, tomorrow is my rest day so I will go on a quick jog or walk around the city.
On the first I started with:
15 sit ups
10 push ups
10 dumbbell curls
10 dumbbell overhead extensions
10 lateral raises
And I could only manage 1 1/2 pull ups.
Every day I’m adding 5, and if I can’t manage anymore if one exercise, I’m going to keep that same number until I can do it easy then bump it up.
I’m trying. I’m cutting down my eating habits, which is so difficult. I don’t drink soda anymore and I’ve been getting plenty of sleep. I’m changing slowly.
It’s a nice feeling, getting stronger. It’s just hard to get out of a comfortable bed and actually do things. Lately I just want to lay in bed and rot and I don’t like feeling that way. I don’t want to feel that way, so I am going to try hard not to. There is just a lot of stress on my shoulders and it’s messing with my health as well.
My mother’s health is kind of going down the drain, and I can’t really be there for her, I don’t know how to and she doesn’t want help.
My father moved out-of-state with his girlfriend and whenever I call, he brings up the topic of ‘Paige moving to Wisconsin.’
My job stress is finally calming down, though it peaks every couple of days. I’m trying to think of other things that don’t stress me out. I wish I could listen to music, I would have so much more done.
The people who I am living with are wanting to move out and the people who want to move in, well are complicated. The bills would be split between two until her boyfriend gets a job. I don’t make enough to cover half the bills and have money for myself, so I am going to find a part-time job to have some extra money. I’ll maybe find some roommates too because the people who want to move in, might not move in if they can find something cheaper. I’d prefer to live on my own anyway because, I don’t like people.
It’s stressing, and hard to deal with but, I am working on it everyday and it’s getting better.