So, I have been emotional lately, not because I am a woman. Things with work, family, and relationships, and now friends.
Work is fun, but one person there is making me feel horrible about literally every step I take. The family life isn’t so hot, seeing as my brother is being an idiotic dick, and my mother and father keep yelling about stupid shit, and to top the family off, my father and his girlfriend are in the makes of something secretive, and Holly can’t seem to keep her mouth shut about saying ‘I can’t tell you’ and then she continues to tell me about shit she’s been through that I don’t care about. Then the relationships, one I can’t seem to find someone that makes my heart pound or my stomach flutter. It seems that my mind is still caught up in the fact that I have been heart broken twice, and then disappointed my own realizations dealing with the most recent ex. I just want someone to love and depend on. I want a man to make my heart pound, and i don’t care what he looks like as long as he is sweet and kind. I’m feeling so lost in relationships because even the ones with my friends are being ripped up. My manager friend, Mel, is busy with her boyfriend and I’m not mad at that fact or anything, I’m happy she is happy with someone now, and I am happy that he treats her right. My friend Hailey, we used to hang out all the time, but we don’t anymore. I don’t know why, but I’m standing on fishing wire, and about to end it all. Then there is my friend whose name I won’t put, but we were like best buds, but we don’t hang out much anymore, she works a lot, and now she is dating someone, and she starting dating him like two days ago and I am hurt that I wasn’t told until today. I don’t know why, and now, the other person is my friend as well, but now I’m not going to be that person who hangs out with my friends boyfriend with out her, and I don’t want to hang out with them together because I will be the third wheel, it is always like that. It’s always like that. I’m sick of it all. I do these things and I am so happy but I am always plagued by this dreadful heat of sadness.