You and I.

She’s the center of attention,

She’s the center of the world.

She says she is my friends,

yet she doesn’t act like it.

I’m tired of it.

I fade to the background,

and become a wallflower,

 as I watch her as she is showered with

attention.

I watch her as she doesn’t realize 

that I am slipping away.

I gave her my all.

My knowledge, 

My friendship,

My trust,

My stories,

My truths.

I gave it all to you.

As a friend.

You seem to not even notice,

how much I care.

How much I did care.

How much good I meant for you.

I don’t have many friends.

When I find one

I try not to monopolize them.

I tried not to, for you.

I didn’t.

But you were important to me,

as a friend. 

I tried to be your friend.

It seemed like you didn’t try hard at all.

Are you trying?

Is that why you never talk to me?

Never text me?

Never hang out with me?

I can’t be the only one who tries 

to be a friend.

In every relationship, 

it takes two.

—

I don’t know if this makes sense or not, I just get really upset easily. I have very few friends and I don’t blame anyone for that, Its how I was raised and its been like that all my life. I’m not with the in crowd, I am awkward and annoying. I talk way to much and too loud when i get excited. I have annoying habits to speak of awkward things and sad, depressing things. As I have learned. I connect with people mostly on a negative level, and I am not a very positive person. Almost all the time, i feel that no one cares about what I have to say, and I generally talk about things that make people uncomfortable. I don’t know how to act and control my impulses. I get jealous and upset easily and I get depressed really easily. My mood swings upset me even more, and it all depresses me. I am changing my ways, but it is really hard right now. I need to make changes in my life and maybe move out for a limited time so I can become a healthier version of myself.