When was the last time you felt really, truly lonely?
The last time that I felt truly lonely was when my ex boyfriend broke up with me. I know it can be counted as a ‘not so serious’ feeling, but it was for me. My ex boyfriend was my first, and at the time I thought he would be my last as well. I was really down in the depths because he ended our relationship just like that. I gave him my all, and I shared everything with him. He didn’t. I recall him telling me words I wish I never heard, and later on I found out that they were lies. He said he didn’t love me like he used to, and that felt like he never loved me at all. Then he told me those words were lies and that he still loved me. He said he broke up with me because his friends didn’t like me, I was too needy, he siblings hated me, and he was moving. When I dated him, I saw no one else but him. When I wasn’t dating him, all I saw was him, and I was empty. I felt so empty and my reason died.
That was the past though, my reason is back and I have decided on many things. I will live for myself, and please myself and some others who I care for. I will try not to get a broken heart, but also open up to others. It’s pretty hard. Life is pretty hard. Things are even harder when all you ever known was a man that wasn’t so perfect, was egotistical, and didn’t think of others… Then you find someone different, and you contrast the differences-in a good way. I hate that I do that still, however, slowly my thoughts are moving away from the past. I can’t wait till all I think about are things ahead of me.