Over the past year, a lot has happened. Family things and friendship issues, even relationships were dragged into the picture. As I have said in other posts, some situations occurred in my family that I was unable to talk about, but now I am able too. My mother and father are trying to divorce, and in the midst of the situation my mother feared that my father might use some knowledge against her. My father living with me right now is not my biological father and although it has been a couple months since knowing this I still feel hurt and lied to by my father. That was the secret that was kept from me for 17 years of my life. The reason why my mother was married to my birth father was because of me, and then in court for deciding who the father is, it was decided that my birth father was not Todd, but in fact Jean, my father living with me right now. It hurts me to know that my father was a crackhead who doesn’t care about me at all and that he doesn’t want to know me. It sucks, it really does and when my father found out that I knew that he was upset and I was also upset. His mistress is living with us and it’s painful. I want my mother and father to be together but that won’t happen. And now my father is being a prick by being kind to my mother, it makes me feel torn and I don’t like it. I don’t like this house or this room. There is an overwhelming sadness hanging from the ceiling. Things happened in this room that I’d like to change and I can’t but they are good memories. The biggest thing that I do not like is the fighting that I hear in the other rooms since my walls are paper thin. It’s a pain.
Friend issues are another problem, Some people can’t really do things right and they stay in the past. My friend stays with the past and doesn’t like the accept the possibilities that she may actually be wrong on some things. I don’t need to be by depressing people who flirt around with everyone, it’s very misleading for everyone and sometimes annoying. I don’t have very many friends and most of the friends I do have are guys because they don’t carry drama with them. It’s a little annoying with girls, all I can really talk about with some girls are things that are filled with drama and it gets annoying. Only one girl I talk too doesn’t carry drama and she is my best friend.
Another big thing that has happened was I have worked at Palmers for almost a year, in November it will be a year. It is pretty exciting and then in December it will be a depressing day due to some past events that sometimes haunt me. On another up note, I got a new boyfriend and he has basically changed my ideas all around, it’s nice. It’s a change in pace and it makes me happy. A lot of things make me happy lately and it’s nice. A lot of things are changing and some are good and some are bad. I still don’t know what to do for the future though.