Posted in Life

Perfection and Beauty


I wake to the feeling of my cell phone vibrating at my ear; 7:30 AM. 

I lay in bed for a couple moments, I stare at my ceiling and notice the fading glow of the stars that I put up earlier in the year. I turn my head and look at my wall through the mirror of my headboard. Dark wall, light wall; colors painted imperfectly on the walls. I have a hand-made blanket and the painting I painted in 9th grade pinned to the wall. My door is shut, my closet doors are shut. Every animal in this room is sleeping; my snake, and my fish would be sleeping if he could sleep.

I sit up and let the thick, comfortable blanket relax across my legs. I wipe my eyes and crawl out of bed, dodging clothes and miscellaneous things that happen to be displayed on my carpeted floor. I walk over to the mirror and glance at myself, walk back to my desk and switch on my lamp the gives off a warm glow, walk back to the mirror and I run my fingers through my hair. Today, I have to work anyway, but I think I will look nice with this kind of pony tail. I smile and gently put my hair up and turn my head from side to side. I notice a faint line across my face and run my fingers along it. It’s from sleeping on my strange pillow, it looks like a scar. Cool. I walk to the end of my bed and open a cabinet from my headboard. I pull out some clothing; a black pair of jeans that have been sowed neatly and a no zipper jacket that is striped, black and grey. I shrug on my pants and pull my orange tank top, that I slept in, over the waist band. I grab the jacket from my bed and throw it on. I think about making my bed, but I yawn to the idea. I look at the clock: 7:40 AM. It’s almost eight o’clock. I have to leave for work at nine.

I walk out of my bedroom door and creep into the living room. I slip into my shoes and slowly open the front door and leave the house. Taking one slippery step at a time, I walk to my bike which sat in the rain. The bike seat is barely damp and will hardly do any damage to my jeans. I turn my bike around and peddle out of my driveway and into the alley of trailer town homes. I ride to the street and head toward the sidewalk, smiling at people who I pass by. I look around and feel the warmth of the damp air and notice how all the colors look a tad bit brighter. I look to the trees ahead of me and notice the missing morning glory’s, but something catches my eye. I glance down and see them mixed in with the grass, they are almost closed up. The morning glory is one of my favorite flowers.

I slowly peddle over the small hill and slow my breathing as I pass by another bike who is fixing something. He has a radio attached to his bike and it’s playing some strange songs I’ve never heard of. I park my bike once I get to the gas station and head inside. I grab a sausage, egg, cheese biscuit and a 20 oz of French Vanilla Cappuccino. It is my favorite type of coffee. I finish filling the cup and turn around to see two boys that look alike, and look very tired. They also happen to look familiar. The one in the back glances at me from time to time, they look around my age, either older or younger. The cashier lady gives me my receipt and I walk out the door. As I put my coffee in my cup holder and my breakfast in my purse, I glance at the people I saw earlier. It looks like they are going on a road trip, that sounds fun. Riding back over the hill and passing the morning glory’s I look at the woman with the Doberman and another dog that is unfamiliar to me. They are both very cute. Dogs at my right and a cat to my left. I click my tongue and the cat looks at me and then the dogs, but I couldn’t see what it did because I was already arriving at my house. I walk in with the not-so-quiet-but-still-quiet footsteps. I kick off my shoes and head to my room, stopping in the second living room to pet my mothers cat, Baby.  My cat, Charlie, backed away from me. I arrive in my room and pull off my socks and start eating my food. 

Today feels like it was perfect, aside from the fact of last night, I woke up at four because of my cavity aching. It was beautiful outside and inside. I had a lovely day. 

Posted in Life

Free Falling: Chapter Two: The Fall

She walked upstairs and sets herself some breakfast at the table. Her house has a quiet feeling and muted color on the walls; grey blue and dark tones and shades.
“Amity, is that you?” Her mother’s voice echoed downstairs.
“Damn it.” Amity hurried up to clean the mess; as she did that she ate everything in her hands. She hurried out the door before her mother found her in the kitchen. She doesn’t like seeing her daughter around anymore.
Amity ran out the door and closed the gate behind her. She ran as fast as she could to get behind the brick wall. The door to her house opened just as she turned.
“Amity,” She yelled. “If you are out their, don’t bother coming back!” Her mother screamed.
She slid down the wall, rubbed her eyes and sat there. She looked across the street. The curtains in the house shuffled and a shadow passed behind it. She looks over and quickly gets up and runs to school. The school building is separated into two wings with a cat walk between, but one of the wings have been closed down so only gangsters and delinquents roam the area over there, but Amity likes to do stunts on the buildings roof top, since there are a couple more shorter buildings nearby.
“Ms. Havard!” The teacher yelled behind her, she stood still and waited for his strict lecture.
“Yes, Mr. Harker?” She asked as she turned around to face him. Mr. Alec Harker; tall and handsome for a new teacher here, he has short black hair that is gelled into natural looking spikes and light brown eyes. She stood there with her arms folded.
“What do you think you are doing?” He asks.
“Well, since you seemed to ask so nicely, I guess I can tell you.” She laughed to herself and rolled her eyes. “I’m skipping class, Mr. Harker.”
“Why?” He stands tall and looks down on her.
“I need to blow off some steam,” She sighs and taps her toes. “So, I am going to head over to that building. See ya.” She starts walking in the other direction but her teacher grabs her arm.
“Come with me.” He drags her to a quieter secluded area.
“What are you doing exactly? Why do you look like you have been crying?” He rubs lightly underneath her eyes and she slightly moves away.
“I wasn’t,” She blurts and blushes a little. “I didn’t… get enough sleep.”
“Hey… Amity…” He stares into her eyes and she is a little captivated by his gaze, he slightly leans in. Her eyes blink and she mumbles an apology as his nose touches her. She slips away from him and runs to the other building. He doesn’t follow; If teachers were seen their, they would get fired.
“Stupid teachers…” She mumbles and puts her hand to her face. “What is he thinking, I thought he was going to…” She blushes and shakes her head. “No! Lets get back to what I was doing…” She runs off into the old building and heads to the roof top. The breeze pushes her back gently and the sound of yelling boys flood her ears.
“What’re you doin’ up here?” A tall boy with spiky blond hair and pierced ears walks up to her and points his blow pop in her face. “A gal like you shouldn’ be up here.”
“Gal?” She stifles a laugh.
“Oi,” He looks over his shoulder to the rest of his gang and they move closer to Amity. “This sophisticated lookin’ gal here, she’s lost her way.” The boys laugh and Amity folds her arms and sighs. The move in closer to her as they snicker and she slowly steps back.
“No where to run, lil’ miss.” Says a boy with half is head bald and the other half blue.
“We’ll show you how fun it is to run along with us…” The other boy with tattoos on his body and designs shaved into his hair, walks closer to her.
“Hold up.” She puts her hand out and walks to the edge of the roof. They stare wide eyed. “I have some business to take care off before I play with you kids.” She sighs and stretches her arms out.
“Wait… Wait!” The boy runs to the edge of the roof and his screams are blocked by the sound of wind. She stares at the sky for a couple of seconds before flipping over to land and roll on the next roof over.
She stands up and looks at the boys on the school building; she waves, sticks her tongue out and runs off the edge of the building and disappears from sight.
She wanders around aimlessly. She understands the city already. She walks through alleys, light and dark. Some are loud and chaotic with smoking teens or men and women locking lips. Others are quiet and somber with homeless people and trash cans blocking the way. She walks through many until she finds herself at the river. On her right, she gazes at the ocean and on her left she walks to the bridge. Amity smiles and rips her socks off and takes her clothes off, until she is left in her bra and underwear; she dips her toes in first, testing the water. It’s cool to the touch and it is relaxing. She walks in and the water swallows her up in a gentle grip.

Posted in Life


Honestly, I am too lazy. 

Here are some excuses to why I haven’t been posting:

  • It’s too hot.
  • I’m lazy.
  • What do I post?
  • I’m too bored.
  • Etcetera, Etcetera…

It has really been hot lately… Oh well. Here is a small update, sorry if I repeat myself…

I have hooked my mother up with someone! They are happy, probably not ‘dating’ yet. I hope. Ha-ha. I have been lazing around the house, bored out of my mind, it is way too hot in my bedroom! I am slowly working on my novel(s) December Never Ends and Free Falling. My family right now is alright, the situation is, so far, under control. I stay up way to late lately and I need sleep, soon. I am going to try to start a workout/daily health deal/cleansing routine(different from previous ones and failed ones). I don’t know what I want to get done yet, I want it to be cooler in my room though. I work tomorrow so I will try to get up at an early time and maybe write something, after I work out or wake up. Ha-ha, wish me luck please! 

Posted in Life

Home Sweet Home

Home sweet home; where the carpet is clean(most of the time), my mother in the living room watching the television, a little loud. Where I sit in my bedroom browsing the internet and procrastinating from multiple things: writing my novel, reading the books I have on my ‘to-read’ list, and sleeping. Home sweet home; where my cats meow at the patio door, where my snake hides in his hut, and where the fish are… well fish. Home sweet home; where basically every form of communication is done on an electric device, where my fathers girlfriend lives, where my family feuds begin and end. Home is where the heart is, incorrect. The heart is nowhere to be found now-a-days. My mother and I living with my father and his new woman. He happened to be dating her since June of last year. What a big surprise. Well, she is in for some surprises herself, once I am alone with her. Home is where the heart is… Back then, sure, but now with all this tension and awkward atmosphere, and especially new information that I have acquired… it doesn’t feel like there is any heart here. Except for when my mother and I are the only ones here. There is no place like home, correct. There seriously isn’t. I don’t feel this strange anywhere else but at home.

Soon, though… Soon my grandpa’s pay will come in, and he will buy my mother and I a house, and then start grandpa’s pride… But I think I ruined that, since I told my mother that dad and Holly have been dating since June of 2011. She doesn’t want to let it go. She is happy that I told her, but now I am conflicted, was it the right thing to do? I’m not sure yet. It will take a couple of years to get a lawyer, around 25000 to get one… And then what? I wouldn’t be living here anymore anyway. Oh boy. I feel that the most important things have yet to happen.

With those words, I am getting off. I need to sleep. I have to work at 9 in the morning, and I am half tempted to ride my bike there. I won’t though. So, goodnight.

Posted in Life

Clean Bedroom: Closet Not Included

I cleaned my room today, vacuumed and all. I even folded my clothes, finally… Now I am doing my laundry, so I can fold my clothes again! Hooray!

I vacuumed the second living room and the hallway between my room and my mothers’, who just now got home. Then I vacuumed the rug in the bathroom because my brother got grass all over it! Yay. Now I have to work, and then… Once I get home. I will type and then I will sleep, then I have work tomorrow.

I wonder how long it will take me to clean my closet, at some point. It will probably take a whole day, but I have nowhere to put all the junk. That is why it is in the closet in the first place!

Also, when I get home, I have to clean Emlen’s cage, he is shedding and there is skin all over the place, that need to be taken care of soon.

Posted in Writing

Free Falling: Chapter One: She Flies

She steps on the edge of the building and looked down, 50 stories below, the cement waits for her. She looks all around and gazes at the fascinating sunset in front of her. The wind blows her long hair behind her. From behind, her hair made it look like she had white wings. The sounds of cars below were muffled from the strong wind in her ears, she puts her hands up to the side of her head and closes her hazel eyes. It was silent for her; a warm sound rang in her ears. It was the sound of her heartbeat, and her blood flowing. She opens her eyes again; looks to the horizon, beyond the buildings. She whispers something, then spreads her arms out wide and falls forward.
She keeps a straight posture as she falls; she closes her eyes again and twists her body around, her back facing towards the ground. She stares at the sky, the night creeping slowly, time slowed down for her. She impacts. Her eyes roll back, her head flings forward, and her arms and legs smack down, her body is limp for a few seconds until she opens her eyes again and smiles. She sits up on the balloon, and she slowly floats to the next building over.
“What a rush,” She grins. “It still gives me goose bumps.” She laughs now and gets her phone out and types in a message; “ANOTHER CRAZY FLY, MY WINGS WORK OUT WELL!!!” She uploads her blog status and soon jumps off to the building next to her, before the balloon bounces off.
“What the hell?” A deep voice asks as she steps on the building. “I thought you were suicidal, but… I was too scared to say anything, seeing as you were falling when I got out here!” He yells. She turns around and looks at a tall man wearing a black suit. His hair is a dark color; brown with a tint of red when the sunlight hits it. His eyes are a piercing blue and his skin is light and fair.
“Who are you?” She asks. The man in front of her is her type. She hates her own race, their disgusting habits, everyone she knows has one, but this guy was a foreigner, from some other country and he has an accent. She stands on the edge of the building and swallows her guts.
“I should be asking you that.” He sighs. “Oh well, my name is Mitchell Durayni, now… who are you?” He steps and she steps back, only realizing that it’s too late to move forward. He runs up to her and grabs her wrist and pulls her in to his arms. “Be careful!” He yells and she giggles, feeling warm.
“Me? Be careful? I just jumped off a building!” She laughs, she tries to move but his arms are holding her tightly, she sits there and sighs until he releases her. “My name is Amity Havard. Are you happy now?” She walks to the other side of the building; she needs to jump soon to reach her destination. She stepped on the edge and Mitchell grabbed her wrist.
“What are you doing!?” He tightened his grip.
“I need to get to where I am going. Let go of me.” She insisted and he did listen. “You can watch if you want, just don’t scream. I’ve done this a lot.” She laughed nervously. She stared at the horizon and closed her eyes again. She fell forward and turned around, and when she opened her eyes, she was staring at Mitchell. His mouth was gaped open and she laughed as she landed on another blimp, which took her to another building. She looked towards the horizon and sighed. She put her hand to her chest and smiled. “I’ll never get used to this feeling.” She closed her eyes and sighed.
She jumped to the building that is lower than the others behind her; she looked back and saw Mitchell still looking at her. She laughed and waved; he waved back. She turned around and ran off the edge of the building and rolled onto the roof of a house boat and then dived off into the ocean.

Posted in Life

Chicken Nuggets

I made some chicken nuggets today, they are pretty good. I am drinking them with a glass of wishing it was chocolate milk. It’s pretty good for nuked nuggets. My mother didn’t want me to use the oven and heat up the house. So, I didn’t use it.

Holly, my dads girlfriend, she’s quiet and acts like a dog… Just following my dad around the house. Well, she is in a new environment and is probably nervous. It’s alright so far. I don’t know what to think of it all, and I don’t know what will happen when dad isn’t here. 

One big unhapp…

One big unhappy family. Yes, we are living the life  feeling oh so awkward. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t said hi to my father and I don’t know what to do. It’s very awkward and I feel strange. Very, very strange. I have to get over it, I guess. 

Image I’m totally unsure about this.