Writing a Paige

She was exposed, bare and naked straight to the core of her inner self. Everything was in plain sight; her brown wavy hair, the shape of her face, the arc of her lips the curve of her breasts, and the contours of the rest of her body. Her face was red from emotions that surged in the emptiness of her heart, dry from tears that pored endlessly from her tired eyes. Sickened quivers animated her hands as she tried to conceal fresh and faint scars that lied on her arms… Troubling thoughts pressured her mind and made her head ache with confusion. Experiences combined with self disgust leave her plastered with resented pain and unnecessary struggle. She replays the memories of when her heart stopped, throat closed, and excruciating pain flowed throughout her body…
She was back at school, Monday, so far it was wonderful and she was chipper and not afraid. She saw him and hurried with him to his locker. They exchanged very small, uneventful, talk as they walked side by side with little to no contact. They both had places to be. Before they say their goodbyes though, something unusual happens; he picks her up kisses her forehead. The memories paused and her thoughts tumbled in. Was that a goodbye kiss? An I’m sorry kiss? She doesn’t understand why. But the memories kept going. During the free period of her day, she was giddy with that tiny romantic stunt he pulled. She hummed along to her music and wrote her thoughts down, but then he came and tapped on her shoulder andshe felt anxious by the look on his face. She fiddled around in her pockets and followed him to a slightly private area. Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach as he told her that crushing phrase.
I’m breaking up with you.
What…
I don’t love you like I used to.
She falls to the floor shaking hysterically and crying. Her ha.d was over her mouth trying not to scream. He tries to wrap his arm around her shoulder but she is too shocked and she pushed him back.
The memories stop again as she questioned her actions.
She wished she could have let him hold her, but she also wished she didn’t show any reaction to his words. Tears fell to the floor as she hugged her exposed self, and as she relived the heartbreaking moment, it tore her up. She tried to remember his warmth, gentle kisses, the weight of his body against hers. His smile and his many faces, but they are faded and they slowly disappeared. She can’t even remember the words I love you coming from his lips. How could she have been so stupid to have thought that things could have been different if she changed, he was right… it was too late.
As the movie of memories continued she cursed at him and ran off. Her voice was louder than it should have been but she wasn’t thinking. When she left she hoped he would follow but that wasn’t the case, he never would have done that. She couldn’t focus and she meandered around the school looking for someone, when she found her friend she cried long and hard.
Scars draped her arm like a scarf. A very disgusting, mutilated scarf that shows her temporary way out. Physical pain covers her emotional pain.