How these days are spent

These snowless days are spent alone, and bo~oring.

My lover is off having the time of his life, and I am very, very happy for him; but you see… I am sitting in my bedroom, basically wasting away. I sit on the computer watching Netflix, occasionally checking Facebook (Which is highly unpopular), Deviantart, and some other miscellaneous websites that I visit frequently.

Today is time for an update!

I decided that today, with my free time, I am going to write/type or meditate. I want to try it. Maybe it can help with my emotional being.

On my calender of this winter break I have written down when I am busy, which is only New Years Eve. Sadly. I still have yet to be paid from work so, I doubt I can throw a New Years Bash like I wanted, but I still hope to see some friends!

So, today, when I was walking home from the gas station, I came up with some lyrics/poetic lines:
“All these tears,
and all these fears.”
Yeah… Something like that, after a good nights rest and an amazing shower tomorrow, I’ll come up with something.

So tomorrow, depending on the weather, I might go for a walk. I never do that but, I am feeling lazy without my lover boy around. He is off skiing down slopes, I am a little jealous, though I am to scared to do that. I’d rather take a garbage can lid and surf down the hills by my house.

Anyway, after X-mas I had a small, okay medium sized blow out with my mother. I actually stood up to her, and then I cried because I have never done that before. It was scary…

And right now, (TOTALLY OFF TOPIC) my man messaged me that he is having fun, and I am completely jealous!! I need to get over it, don’t you think?  And I feel so weird now. Like I am kind of just stopping being how I was. I used to message him all the time and be so whiny, no I just hold everything it. It’s annoying me. I stopped because my clingy-ness was getting overbearing, and it hurt… so I stopped. It’s strange, and I want to stop but, I have done it a lot lately… Plus, I don’t want to risk my relationship.

I’m just strange, don’t mind it. But, please feel free to leave some relationship advice or whatever. It may come in handy.

So also since winter break and my man having fun has been happening, I have been drinking a ton of water, I feel great. I also sometimes forgot to brush, but what can I say. It’s hard to not forget. Especially with forgetful young me.

Well, I am sitting in a very comfy chair, with my legs crossed, and they are starting to hurt. I have to go now.

Happy Holidays!

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