I need to start a habit in getting into a routine. I don’t like how I am just out there everyday and don’t know what I am going to do in a few minutes or hours. I have started to change my body. I want to get it the way I want it so I will do exactly that. Exercising. Yep. All in the past, when I tried keeping up with my routines, it sucked. This time, I will do it. It’s the perfect time to start, the weekend. Today I also need to finish up my homework for my classes, and my late work. I also need to start making my friends bracelets. Should I sell them?
An update on my ex.. How should I say this… I realized that I love him. I always loved him and I was lying to myself on those emotions. “You never know what you’ve got til it’s gone” Yeah. Totally hit me. So, I told him I won’t break his heart, that I love him and I want to be with him. I want him, he says he wants me but… I am not what he needs. I afraid though… He said that he is a bit torn between two girls… I scared that he won’t choose me and I will drop everything that I am doing to set myself on a new track. But, I think even if that happens, I need to keep going with what I am doing, and keep changing. Not for him, not for anyone. For myself. I realize the way I do things are not okay. I need to change that. I am also afraid that if I am back together with him, his family… My family. I would be so nervous around them. I don’t know what I would do. /sigh/. Oh well. It’s his choice whether he chooses to be with me or not. I can name a thousand of my faults that this other girl likes can probably top and I bet she doesn’t have them. /sigh/ I once again need to stop bringing myself down.
On the upside, I have colored my recent pictures and I guess I will scan them some point today and upload them to my deviantart account = itsumoAISHITERU. I am eating breakfast right now too, first in a long time. I got up early too. I thought I would get up at 10 am, I was wrong, I got up around 8 am. Earlier last night, I slept a lot, my stomach had an acidic problem with what I ate and the stuff I drank. So I am going to drink water today after this glass of chocolate milk. Hehe. I did some sit-ups/crunches/push-ups today, it felt nice. If I had a treadmill, I would want to run. But I don’t have one. I have to go no. I want to finish my breakfast, I want to rest a little bit, maybe read. I’ll update later.