Tag Archives: people

Senses

Every sense in my body is for you. Every sense is used for you, and I cherish every bit of information I receive from my senses.

My Sight

I see you, here in front of me. I look at you, who is looking at me. Our eyes share a connection and no one else is in this moment. My eyes hold your gaze as we share secret conversations. My eyes expose my emotions, I look at you with sweet feelings of love and caring emotions. Hopefully, when you look into my eyes, you sense those feelings of longing and how I wish to be with you.

My Smell

I smell your must, your cologne, your sweat. I call it sexy, seductive, and somehow sweet. I can smell the things that make you, you. The faint smell of tobacco, the scent of sweat mixed with body wash and cologne. I can tell its you, and I breathe you in because it is so sweet and calming because you are this close to me.

My Hearing

Your voice, deep and strong. It swirls in my head as you tell me about yourself. You breathing is deep and relaxing, I match mine with yours. I hear you shuffling around while we sit facing each other. I hear my own thoughts about you and think about voicing them for our conversation. I don’t though. My ears wouldn’t be able to block your sweet voice’s response.

My Touch

I feel your words resonating through me as I lay my head on your chest. I feel your skin and your hair. You are right here. Your words hit home and I feel set aloft in this moment. You are here, caressing my skin and I can feel your touch, your callouses brushing against my arms and shoulders. I put my hands on your arms and feel your skin, I know that you are here in this moment, but I can feel that you are gently pushing me away, because you say you have to go.

My Taste

I can taste your lips against mine, its sweet. As we talk, I can taste the bitter thoughts in the back of my mouth. I swallow my thoughts and whisper other sweet words that tasted tart. You open your car door and the dull taste fills my mouth and I want to tell you not to leave, but you’d say that you have to and I don’t want to say my emotions. I kiss you once more, and the last thing that is left in my mouth is the sad taste of you leaving me here.

I feel like I have accomplished a lot of things today, I did stand up to someone who has been pushing my buttons and has been getting under my skin, of course that person denied doing anything to outcast me in any way. She later apologized to me for any actions that made me think that way. Work was pretty busy, it was memorial day weekend so everyone assumed that we were going to get wiped-out. I however, didn’t know what to expect, I have sadly been slacking a little bit the last few weeks, and it is sad to hear that from myself, but it is true. I am using this week to switch it around and I will successfully switch it around. I got a lot done today, I still have a lot to do tomorrow to attempt to get ahead of the game, but it won’t be as bad as it was today.

I just finished the book, The Fault In Our Stars by John Green and it was pretty unexpectedly intense. I cried a lot, let me tell you. I love books that bring so much emotion out of me. The other books that have done that were Memoirs of a Geisha Arthur Golden, White Oleander by Janet Fitch, and Allegiant by Veronica Roth. I love the books that make me cry or laugh or just plain feel emotion. 

I am actually proud of myself today, yeah I didn’t do a lot of the things that I wanted to do, but I did finish a book, and I didn’t spend the majority of my life off of work on the internet. I did talk to someone that I have wanted to talk to for a while, Skype preferably! We chatted for while and it is great, it made me pretty happy. I’m pretty sure that person doesn’t know how happy it makes me.

Thats all I can really think up right at the moment, my brain is sizzling out.

Thanks

I want to say thanks to my blogging world. All the blogs that I read and the people that follow me and that I follow… Thank you, I dont know what I would do without this blog, im too far in to stop now.
This blog is like escape from reality. Its been getting harder lately and im not very happy as I used to be, but this blog of mine and some close friends keep me together, and I am honestly happy to have my job, for all the strangers make my day and I love helping others, its a win win situation.
Its exhilarating, everyone is amazing and I just wanted to say thanks for everything.
I used to be that one person who never wanted to talk to anyone, I would sit in my room and be alone, and I made myself that way, but its different now and I am glad.

Travel the World

I want to travel the world before I turn 30. Not really the world, but a couple places that I really want to go. It’s best to do it while you’re young right?
I want to go to Japan, South Korea, China, Australia, Finland, Sweden, Germany, France. Some other places as well. I want to see the stars from different places and take pictures. I want to create amazing memories, I want to see the world in a different light. I want to feel amazing, like I am floating on air.

I want to explore and find more things to write about. I plan, on my 21st birthday to go to Sweden. For a week or two. It’s my golden birthday, I want to do it somewhere away from home.

Cats

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On a random note, my kitty took my foot pillow. He’s adorable.

On another note, I’m still waiting approval on my one bedroom apartment. My mother is in consideration for my co signer.

I have s few cute baking ideas for Halloween. I want to make some of it for co-workers and I need to make my friend Larae a rainbow cake or dessert of some sort. She is in some insane love with rainbows. It’s awesome.

I went running a bit ago, and I did pretty well. I need to get in a normal schedule with it, it’s tough though. I’m so tired after work but regular exercise will help me.

I also just noticed on my phone, when I use the Swype keyboard with my stylus(I have the note 2) the yellow trace line fades to nothing after the pen lifts off the screen.

I have ADD.

I hope I get the apartment. I need 200 dollars and I will be pretty secure. I’m excited. I’ve always wanted to be responsible for myself, pay for everything and not rely on others. I don’t like owing money and I don’t like being dependant. Im still 18 so it sucks that I need a co signer for it, but my mother said yes, so that’s awesome. I hope I get it though. If I don’t, I might scream at my father. I wouldn’t get it because of her bad credit, and that is my dad’s fault, he used her name for things and never paid off the bills. Thanks to him, we have debt.
But that’s a long, confusing, and disappointing story. I feel like my life is getting together in some way.

Lifestyle Change

I don’t remember the last time I said I was going to change and then give up. It’s been quite a few times, but I am serious this time and determined. I want to get back on track with the start of a new life. It’s super difficult with all the sweets from my job surrounding me. I’m building my will power up. I’m going to eat a salad every day, eat breakfast. I want to feel amazing. Tumblr fitblrs are helpful and pinterest is too.
I’ve been working out for three days now, tomorrow is my rest day so I will go on a quick jog or walk around the city.
On the first I started with:
30 squats
15 crunches
15 sit ups
10 push ups
10 dumbbell curls
10 dumbbell overhead extensions
10 lateral raises
And I could only manage 1 1/2 pull ups.

Every day I’m adding 5, and if I can’t manage anymore if one exercise, I’m going to keep that same number until I can do it easy then bump it up.

I’m trying. I’m cutting down my eating habits, which is so difficult. I don’t drink soda anymore and I’ve been getting plenty of sleep. I’m changing slowly.

It’s a nice feeling, getting stronger. It’s just hard to get out of a comfortable bed and actually do things. Lately I just want to lay in bed and rot and I don’t like feeling that way. I don’t want to feel that way, so I am going to try hard not to. There is just a lot of stress on my shoulders and it’s messing with my health as well.

My mother’s health is kind of going down the drain, and I can’t really be there for her, I don’t know how to and she doesn’t want help.
My father moved out-of-state with his girlfriend and whenever I call, he brings up the topic of ‘Paige moving to Wisconsin.’
My job stress is finally calming down, though it peaks every couple of days. I’m trying to think of other things that don’t stress me out. I wish I could listen to music, I would have so much more done.
The people who I am living with are wanting to move out and the people who want to move in, well are complicated. The bills would be split between two until her boyfriend gets a job. I don’t make enough to cover half the bills and have money for myself, so I am going to find a part-time job to have some extra money. I’ll maybe find some roommates too because the people who want to move in, might not move in if they can find something cheaper. I’d prefer to live on my own anyway because, I don’t like people.

It’s stressing, and hard to deal with but, I am working on it everyday and it’s getting better.

 

Words

 

Words

Words (Photo credit: sirwiseowl)

 

So, on Facebook, I posted at status to my friends;
Tell me your favorite word and I will write a paragraph or so on your wall.
So far, three people have answered that question.

 

 

 

Here are the paragraphs in order.

 

 

 

Music

 

 

 

The world is nothing without the harmony of sound and music in your ears. Life would be bleak if one could not hear the strums of a guitar or the voice of an angel. Music is comfort to the broken, lonely or happy soul. It heals anything and shows a change in everyone. Overtime, if you listen, you can hear music in your everyday life, even if there are no ear buds plugged in.

 

 

 

Annoyance

 

 

 

The cats meow was slowly growing closer and closer till it sounded loudly at the foot of the door. 
“This is worse than everyone being loud and obnoxious at high school, please make it stop.” She mumbles and opens the door. The feline launches in the bed room and hunts for food but there isn’t any. She picks up the cat and drags him outside where is picks at the buzzing moths and the june bugs that hum around the florescent light on the porch. A grass hopper perches on the chair and the cat wiggles and pounces. One by one the legs are ripped off, like a vicious predator attacking its next meal.
“Damn these cats and bugs are annoying. I’m out of here.” She leaves the porch light glowing and the predator munching and pouncing on the porch.

 

 

 

Love

 

 

 

Life long feelings of commitment, of joy, of pain, and sorrow. Mixed emotions can fix one set of eyes on another person. 
“Is this what they call love?” The generalized books always ask this when the main character falls in love. Quite frankly, it is stereotypical and true. Love is full of… emotion; good and bad. It’s a beautiful and dangerous thing. It can throw you across the skies or it can chain you down into the depths of the ocean. Love is impossible to manage and handle. It’s a wry thing, love… What is love? A tale of two people joined together? A look in the eye? Touch of the fingers? Love is unbelievable and sentimental, it is also the most powerful emotion out there.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

Oh, so many things I could write about. For example; my school days, working days, emotional days-sad, happy, angry… There are a lot of things I can talk about, but for now… I will work on my homework and then I will type up some stories.

 

 

 

P.S. SEND ME SOME WORDS! I’ll write a paragraph about them and post them!

 

 

 

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A Shout Out

The summer is coming to an end, and my last year of high school will be right around the corner. I need to get a lot of things set out straight before the 15th; my sleeping schedule is wacko, and my room is a mess. I have a lot of bad faults that have gained over the summer, which is mostly my wish to do things but my strive for not doing it. I blame it on the insane heat.

For some reason, I feel like when school starts that it is a ‘new year’ in itself, besides January 1st being the real one. They way I see it, the time from when I start school then reaching to the next time I start school is a year, and it is really, it’s hard to explain. Anyway, a lot of things have happened this year. A lot of good things and a lot of bad things. I experienced love-in so many ways, I experienced a broken heart and a broken mind. I got my first job, I gained new experiences. All of them are thanks to everyone I met and have known and loved. I don’t regret anything really, I don’t want to either. Everything that has happened to me has happened for a reason and I love it, even if I don’t know the reason. High school is a place where drama over things, whether it be big or small, is amplified to the extremes. In this period of time a lot of things happen; you realize your dreams, you experience love and heart break. You learn new things that you haven’t learned. You cry, you break. You want to scream. You experience friendship and companionship. You have learned so much, and now it may seem to be all the sad and disappointing things-but that is because everyone learns from those memories. We always remember those first because we learn from our mistakes and our pain. You will always remember the happiness, it will be in your heart.

I want to learn from everything that I have experienced, of course I know that I will not be the perfect person and these things will take time. I want to do it anyway… I want to accept all of the things that have happened, not run away from them. School is a place where drama occurs, and I was always too open minded, I need to learn from that too. I also need to learn to trust people. I might be seeing a lot of new people here, so I need to learn some new things.

I love all the people who have touched my heart, and wish they would read this. Everyone who has been my dear friend, I owe you a lot. You stuck with me and put up with all of my emotions, but I took it for granted and thought that it would always be there, but with some things… I have learned that it isn’t one sided. I have to think of the other person too and not only myself. I need to listen too. You see, everyone who I have talked to and have or have been friends with are all still important to me. We may not be the closest or we may not even talk, but you are still my friend and I will always be there for my friends, even if they aren’t for me. I’ve been through a lot and so has everyone else, so being able to put someone else’s pain on your shoulders isn’t that easy, I know, but my friends have done it anyway. I thank you. Even to a person that hates me, A. She was my best friend, and I still think of her as that, but a lot of things have happened to us, and I believe that she hates me. I would really like to know why and a part of me wish she didn’t act with me. I want her to be true, but a lot of people aren’t. I know I am not. Anyway, we met when she was a junior. She is beautiful and an amazing person, and so strong. Even though I envied her, I still loved her and tried not to think of those thoughts, eventually somethings happened and those were the only thoughts that crowded my mind. I still don’t understand myself but at a point I was so jealous that I made myself hate her but in reality I wanted to go back to the previous times when we laughed.

Thinking back on the past, and how so many things have changed… it makes me a little sad, but I am actually happy in a way. If these things never happened, well then neither would have this.

A, I hope you read this someday. I know that you hate me, well I heard from my friend when we saw each other at the movie theater. I won’t be forgiven so easily, I know. But knowing that we were such good friends-to me at least, makes me very happy and glad. I am really glad that I met you that day before school!

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She is a beautiful person, inside and out. A true friend.

Another person, who I have had a deep connection with and a person whom I have never met is my dear friend Emily. She is beautiful and witty, to me. She knows my whole story, the good side and the bad side to him. I met her on deviantart, a wonderful website where I met many others too. I have a long distant history with her that is exclusive to the internet(for now). I love her to death, she is my dear sister. Even though she is close to me, she never fails to give me the truth.

ImageEmily, I thank you for being wild and wacky with me through this whole friendship, even the awkward time! You are real and true and I hope one day that I will meet you, and when that happens, I bet we will become even better friends. I am also glad that I have gotten to know more people because of you, and I have also changed because of you. We are connected and have shared very similar experiences and we can share our knowledge and wisdom. I’m very glad that I found you or you found me on dA, and I am very glad that we have discovered this amazing friendship. I love you!

I love all the people in my life, even if I wasn’t always the one to talk about or hang out with, knowing these amazing people were my friends is just amazing and simplistic itself.

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageEven though time will pass by and maybe we all won’t talk again, everyone I met will always have a place in my heart-if they leave a deep impression!