Tag Archives: life

Oops

Okay! I know I said I was going to post everyday, but my sickness got worse! I didn’t realize that it’s almost been a week since I’ve been sick. I went from having headaches and a cough to being exhausted, in the E.R. with issues and asking work off because of it. I had a severe headache and my tonsils were incredibly swollen and it hurt to open my mouth, talk and swallow. It was very painful. I couldn’t breathe through my nose, it was clogged and I had chapped lips at all times. I lost my voice for a bit too. I went to the E.R. and got an IV, pain meds, and antibiotics.

I am feeling like I am getting better, but we will see.

I apologize for saying I would update everyday and then not… That was bad but I was ill!

I’ll try it again when I am feeling at least 80% I am at like a 45%, the “I can function but I think I should relax” state. I was at a 5% percent at work yesterday and that is apparently the “I don’t give up because of my strong sense of responsibility” state. I was at a 1% percent state this morning which made me call in and its called “You probably should relax all day and get some strength since its healthier for everyone.”

I am relaxing and getting back up there.

Headaches

Today is going to be short, I have a serious headache and sore throat. I am probably getting sick. Work was fun today but the pain of my headache dulled it more than it should have been. I really like doing register, I get to talk to pretty much every customer in the store! It makes me happy to talk with so many people. I have discovered that I can probably soak up all information in all different areas and be good at them. It makes me happy that I can probably adapt easily.  I am going to bed now, I want some rest.

Craving Cola

Here I am again, craving some coca-cola and wishing the headache away. Also listening to my relatives bicker. I am not calling them parents because they don’t act like parents when they fight or argue. Oh well. I want to help fix it but they probably wouldn’t even take in anything that I say.

Today I was on register at work, for the first time. All day. It was actually fun, I was intimidated by it at first since I would have to be even more responsible and I don’t like fucking up or feeling like one, or even disappointing others because of a mistake I’ve made, but I have come to realize that the place I work at, isn’t like that. It’s nice. It actually feels like we are all a team and we are all here to help everyone. It makes me really happy, and comfortable. I am like the job more and more. I miss baking at Palmer’s but I am much happier talking with customers and making new friends and learning new things, I couldn’t necessarily do that at Palmer’s since I was in the back, sort of behind the scenes, baking all the time. I am glad that I am working at Stuff etc. I think it is kinda cool that I keep sticking to Iowa based stores. It’s ironic that I want to move out, yet here I am finding jobs only in Iowa.  I got my keyboard from my moms today, I am going to use some time to myself and relearn some things. I want someone to teach me how to read music properly, or else I will keep cheating and using the internet for video tutorials. It’s not a bad thing, but I want to teach myself somethings, and I think it’d be amazing. I want to succeed!

This is a short update, since I did post something already, but I am going to update everything. I am an open book, as me anything! Absolutely anything! I will give an answer if it is appropriate.

Holiday, Prompt # 1

Okay, I am starting the book, 1,000 Creative Writing Prompts: Ideas for Blogs, Scripts, Stories and More by Bryan Cohen. I am going to try to attempt every single prompt that is possible, and then if something comes up where I have not experienced it yet, I will make it up and put it into a short story sort of deal. Ya feel me? Sorry, that wasn’t professional. Anyway, I will start-up a page on the main site, and link all my posts concerning these prompts. I might not post a prompt everyday, or I might, and then post some more topics that are unrelated, like what I will do today.

Without further ado, prompt # 1:

Explain your most memorable Halloween: from the candy you received, the costume you wore, the environment of your neighborhood (if you trick or treated) and why it has dwarfed all of your other Halloween experiences. 

I was very big into anime at the time, and I had a few shitty friends that I hung out with because my mother worked with her mother,and she was close to my age, I was older though. She was pretty cool, which is what I thought at the time. She was outspoken and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind to whomever. And that isn’t always a good thing… Anyway… I dressed up as my favorite character, Naruto. I didn’t have short hair though, I just work all orange and drew whiskers on my face, and I roller-bladed throughout the neighborhood. I didn’t get candy since I was having too much fun rollerblading. It’s memorable because it is a memory where I was exploring new things, I’ve never attempted to dress up and I was getting out of my young comfort zone. I was also being stupid and trying to fit in where I didn’t belong. I don’t belong anywhere, I am everywhere and I am in my own category. If that makes any reasonable sense. It is also memorable to me because it is when my hardcore Naruto fangirling happened. I was on the Naruto forums, and that is where I met amazing friends, some of which… no most of which didn’t last. Only two actually still continue today. And it’s been around 6 to 7 years since those friendships started. I was really into watching anime at that time, and now I am more into reading it. I like the art and story line. I get involved physically when reading. It’s pretty intense.

That is about it for that little version down memory lane. It wasn’t that much but I just remember dressing up as Naruto, so pretty much I cross-dressed. I don’t know what I will be doing this- just kidding. I am going to be a mermaid. I have blueish green hair and I got the perfect skin tone for my seashell necklace, I don’t know what I will wear exactly though. I am thinking something blue, obviously. A blue dress or something. Anyway, that is all I have for this day.

As We Know It

Time is passing by pretty fast it seems. I am meeting a lot of awesome people at my new job, and it is a 180 degree turn-around from working in the food industry. I miss baking sweets a lot, and I miss eating all the time, but I don’t miss the solitude that I had to deal with. I do miss the regulars that I came to know there. I now work at another Iowa based company, and I am meeting a lot of new people. I love it. I love that it is completely different and I love that I feel comfortable there. It seems like everyone enjoys my company, when they come across it. It is really different working there than Palmer’s but it is nice. I am enjoying it a lot.
I am probably going to be broke every payday though, I have a feeling since I can buy literally anything at Stuff. Another thing, I recently fed my baby, Leviathan, a gerbil. He likes them, it was a decent size too, and I am pretty satisfied with how full he looks. It makes me happy that he is full and happy.
My cat is always annoyingly adorable and the dog is always… unique. (Isn’t that funny)
I got a boyfriend. I thought I can share that with everyone. He is pretty awesome. I feel happy and content and I am never bored in his presence. Its nice. We have a few things in common and we both like talking about the depths of the universe. We have some deep conversations about life, and those are the best kind of opinions to be heard… In my opinion.
I got the wedding photographs edited, I don’t know if I am going to be getting the two 8GB flash drives that I transferred the images on, but it isn’t that big of a deal. I like giving things to people.
I have decided to pursue my dreams, even though I always thought that, I always truly thought that they meant nothing in the real world. The only fear I have, is me coming to hate my dreams/hobbies. I don’t want that to happen.
I want to be a writer, or a photographer, or an artist. I would love to be a travel photo-journalist, or a traveling artist/hobbyist. It would be awesome, because my biggest goal in life is to travel to the places I want to go. I’d love it so much.
Winter is around the corner! I am kinda excited about it. I visit my mother more often now, maybe its homesickness that I feel when I just ‘feel’ like visiting mom.
That’s all I can really think of, I’ll be doing writing challenge’s or poetry to post everyday.

Everyday

I’ve been writing everyday, in my notebook, or on my Facebook. I’ve been writing, and sadly it has yet to get on my blog. Today is the day though! I will post the things that I’ve written on Facebook, here, after I write a little back story for me.

For many days, I’ve been dealing with sadness and I’ve always hated some part of myself. I am trying to change that, to become the me without a shit ton of baggage. I understand that everyone gets sad, but I am overly sad. Sad to the point where I don’t want to eat, where I can’t sleep, and all I want to do is lay in bed and surf the web for nothing-hoping that I might drift off into la-la land. Well, I am not letting that happen anymore. I used to be content with staying the same, saying that I want help and all, but never getting it because I didn’t really want to. It was my comfort zone and now it is making me uncomfortable. Life in general is uncomfortable but I am trying to make it my new comfort zone and being depressed doesn’t help me.

I met a lot of amazing people over the labor day weekend, and that kind of opened my eyes. I am more eager to find love, even though I keep getting heartbroken by people who fall for, because I fall fast. I’m picky but when I have an interest in someone, I like to know them and get to know them… Anyway, since I met amazing people at the music festival Bushwak, I decided to change for the better. I am changing my outlook on a lot of things and I am trying to find inner peace more actively. I quit my job because it made me very unhappy and I was stressed out to the max. I became ill all the time, excessively tired and so stressed I didn’t have my period for two months and now it’s back and it hurts. That is the second time where stress from my job caused me to lose my period. I’m over it. I loved working bakery and doing all that, but it got stressful later on when I was still trying to master it. Changes made it harder on me, so I left and instantly, I got relief. The next couple days, I got my monthly and I am happy to say that I will be getting back on track with the pursuit of happiness.

I am pushing myself out there. Looking for love, looking for friendship, expanding my horizons and trying to always say yes. I’m going to change my hair as many times as I want to, dye it every color possible, get piercings, and tattoos. I am going to attempt exploration and eventually, I might be able to feel like I am a 19-year-old. Currently, I feel like every corner I take, I am getting one step closer to death, to an eternity of unhappiness. I feel like I am old and tired and that nothing is possible for me. But I’ve been told by someone that I am young. I am beautiful, and I have so much potential for the world that I can’t even fathom it. I believe it. I believe that I am those things, and I am going to do everything in my weak will power to strengthen it up, to make myself happier and to make a future that I can see.

On that note, here are the posts from Facebook.

24.5

23

22

That’s all of them so far. If you find me on Facebook, you can add me, I have no problem with that. More friends the merrier, and talk to me! I would like to get to know you!

Three Year Anniversary and Boa Constrictors

Today is apparently my three-year anniversary with WordPress, hooray! I’ve never really committed to something this long, besides work-which in November, will be my three-year.

Today also happened to be my pay-day, and also the day that I am broke because I like to spend money on things. Don’t get me wrong, I spent money on things that I needed, like underwear and things for my animals, however, I did lend money to my mother and also my father and I also… kinda… sorta… bought a snake.

A new one!? Yes, yes, yes… I know what you’re thinking. Why did I buy a snake? Well, because I miss and regret getting rid of Emlen, and I went back to the place to see if he is still there, and he wasn’t, so I bought another one because I love them, and they are amazingly fascinating creatures… Also, I went through the trouble to get my aquarium and most accessories for it, so I bought a snake with most of my money. I haven’t gotten a name for it yet, but I am thinking of one! I have to feed it next Saturday since I just moved it.

It is a tiny one, and it is a Red Tailed-Boa. Beautiful!!!

Festival Number One!

It’s Wednesday and I am totally ready for it to be Friday! Then again, who doesn’t wish it to be Friday, like always. I have a big weekend coming up! It is my first 3 day Festival of Music and Art. I’ll be camping with my friend Jen and we will be dancing the night away. I’m super excited and nervous, since I’ve never been to one. I’m really excited, I’ve already met so many amazing people at Sub Sonic and here I am going to meet so many more friends. It’s Labor day festival weekend and I have Friday off and Monday off. HOLIDAYS!

I’m super excited, super excited.

On other news, this person that I hung out with last Saturday hasn’t replied to my texts, so I am getting paranoid that they don’t want anything to do with me. This would be the third time this happened. I’m getting upset about it, but I know either way I will be alright. It will just take a while this time. I never know what to do, I really want to hang out with them again, and get to know them more, but I don’t want to keep texting and just saying ‘Hey’ and waiting for a reply. I really thought that this person wasn’t like that, and I am trying my hardest to be optimistic about it, but I am just such a pessimist person that is becomes a hassle. I can’t help thinking negative things, but I am trying and Sub Sonic and this music festival has been helping. I’ve been opening my horizons and becoming happier. It’s a day in paradise.

It’s just hard to focus on positive things when I feel like life will just keep repeating all the things that make me feel the worst. Any advice on this topic?

Bedroom Style

I finally have the ability to drive to wal-mart and buy things without the help of others. I feel more like an adult now-out in the real world. I bought a couple things for my still unclean bedroom. I got a temporary closet, a laundry basket, a book shelf and a bed frame. All of which is useful and makes me room feel like home. 

I hung out with one of my friends/acquaintances from middle/highschool today too. I saw him at my work and gave him my number, I figured why not. Haha, and we hung out today. Last minute decisions to go swimming at the beach and then walk along the shore. I found a lot of shells, and if I knew I would of been doing that, I might have brought some other crap to help with shells, like a jar or something. Instead, I took pictures. After the sunshine, we ate at a China Buffet and then I showed him some youtube videos that sum up what I do with my free time. Gassy MexicanSeaNanners, MarkiplierPewds and many more. These are my top four though.

It took me a while to actually clean my room. I have a lot of books! So many. I also have a lot of laundry to do. And, of course, one last tid-bit, I don’t work on Monday!