Category Archives: Life

It’s you

Your imperfections don’t matter to me, because I love you… for you.
That crooked smile? It’s quite charming.
Your laugh, which makes you throw your head back, its cute.
The way you talk with your hands, and throw them around in strange gestures, to me it is enthusiastic and adorable.
When you avoid eye contact when saying your feelings, it makes my heart warm and I love that.
The wrinkles at your eyes, when you smile, makes me want to caress your cheeks and meet your lips.
Your imperfections are more than one, and that’s beautiful to me.
You are beautiful to me, and I love you.
I love you for you, and your perfect imperfections make you… you.

I’ve been working a lot, and just recently, I went to Wisconsin and got back in contact with my childhood friend Emily. I got some amazing photos of fireworks and I even got some great architecture photos of downtown Milwaukee. When I got back, I’ve been doing a bunch of other things. I’ve been focusing on my camera and editing skills. I just had a photo shoot of my friend and her boyfriend. It was my first couple shoot’ and it turned out great. I got a lot of awesome photos and I still have more to edit and upload tonight.
Go check it out here!
I have a photoshoot on Sunday of my coworker and her child and I am trying to get more people to do it. I have yet to hear back from two people and I lost the number to another. I can apparently try to get hired at a photo studio in target or something. I’ll try that.

States Away

In a few states away, my grandmother was admitted into the hospital, her illness is yet to be determined, but I am worried. One reason: I was supposed to visit this week (June 21 through the 27) but I was unable to afford it on such short notice and so I moved it to late July/early August. Her health is not very well and my family and friends that I’ve told are worried. We hope that she will get better. 

This is just a short update, other writing of mine will be release this coming week.

Senses

Every sense in my body is for you. Every sense is used for you, and I cherish every bit of information I receive from my senses.

My Sight

I see you, here in front of me. I look at you, who is looking at me. Our eyes share a connection and no one else is in this moment. My eyes hold your gaze as we share secret conversations. My eyes expose my emotions, I look at you with sweet feelings of love and caring emotions. Hopefully, when you look into my eyes, you sense those feelings of longing and how I wish to be with you.

My Smell

I smell your must, your cologne, your sweat. I call it sexy, seductive, and somehow sweet. I can smell the things that make you, you. The faint smell of tobacco, the scent of sweat mixed with body wash and cologne. I can tell its you, and I breathe you in because it is so sweet and calming because you are this close to me.

My Hearing

Your voice, deep and strong. It swirls in my head as you tell me about yourself. You breathing is deep and relaxing, I match mine with yours. I hear you shuffling around while we sit facing each other. I hear my own thoughts about you and think about voicing them for our conversation. I don’t though. My ears wouldn’t be able to block your sweet voice’s response.

My Touch

I feel your words resonating through me as I lay my head on your chest. I feel your skin and your hair. You are right here. Your words hit home and I feel set aloft in this moment. You are here, caressing my skin and I can feel your touch, your callouses brushing against my arms and shoulders. I put my hands on your arms and feel your skin, I know that you are here in this moment, but I can feel that you are gently pushing me away, because you say you have to go.

My Taste

I can taste your lips against mine, its sweet. As we talk, I can taste the bitter thoughts in the back of my mouth. I swallow my thoughts and whisper other sweet words that tasted tart. You open your car door and the dull taste fills my mouth and I want to tell you not to leave, but you’d say that you have to and I don’t want to say my emotions. I kiss you once more, and the last thing that is left in my mouth is the sad taste of you leaving me here.

Because Of You: Chapter Five

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four

Previous Chapter: here

His words squeezed my chest and my breath caught in my throat. I jumped out of his arms and straight into Irisa.

“Whose this?” He looked at Irisa.

“I’m Irisa, and you must be him.” She smiled wide and he glanced between her and I.

“You’ve talked about me?” He smirked at me.

I avoided his eyes and bowed to him. “Thank you for catching me. I have to go!” I grabbed Irisa’s hand and ran off in the other direction.

“Nerine!” She pulled back. “Nerine, stop!”

“What?” I was out of breath from running, Irisa and I looked around and we found ourselves at a small park. We walked over to the bench and sat down. My body was tingling and my stomach was filled with butterflies.

“What was that all about!?” She freaked out. Irisa’s words almost slurred together as she spoke to fast to understand. I put my hand up in front of her face.

“Irisa, stop.” I sighed.

“Nerine! Is this the guy you put mascara on for? I saw the way you looked at him. I can see why you have changed your looks.” She nodded to my beautiful face that she helped create. “Tell me about him. I want to know what you see in him, where you met him and what not.” She looked at me with earnest eyes, and before I could mutter anything she rested her hands on my shoulders. “Nerine, I just want to let you know, you are a good friend and we’ve become close in a small amount of time and I am glad for that, now tell me your story, I won’t judge.”

I am not too sure why she told me that, but it made me feel a little better. I grabbed my small purse and pulled out my notes that I wrote last night. “I don’t know if this is too big of a jump into my life for you, but here is pretty much what I was going to tell you.” The notes had my life written on the pages, and as Irisa read, she seemed more and more intrigued.

“Nerine, you need to meet Gavin more.”

“What!” I pushed her back unintentionally. “I can’t!”

“Yes, you can. You need to experience this thing that is called ‘love at first sight’ since you haven’t experienced anything else before.” She folded her arms and dangled the spitting image of Gavin in pencil.

“I-I can’t… Gavin… He is too old for me! He is most definitely out of high school and over the legal age of any sort of consent.” I mumbled, and thought back to the night club situation. Thinking more on it, I don’t know for sure how old he is or anything, I don’t know if he actually works there, but he pulled me into the back room… My thoughts ran wild and I could barely focus on Irisa’s voice in the background. Her voice faded into nothing but my own thoughts.

“Nerine.” The sweet sound of my name snapped me out of my day dreaming state and my head whipped to the seat where Irisa once sat. I looked around and she was smiling at me and walking out of the park, leaving me alone with Gavin.

“She told me to tell you that she has to go home for errands.” His smirk tells me otherwise. “Is your wrist okay?” He automatically reached for my wrist and examined it. I felt dumbfounded by his sudden appearance.

“It’s feeling better.” I clear my throat a few times, the butterflies are suffocating me. “Aren’t you working at the club today?”

“No, that is a night shift deal. During the day, we rent it out to catering around the city since it is a high-end establishment.”

“I see. How long have you been there?” I am feeling a bit more comfortable around him, and I am starting to accept being ditched by my only female friend.

“A couple of years.” He told me the story about his connections, and his story seemed a bit off but I nodded along. We sat at the park for a couple of hours, talking and getting to know each other. My alarm on my phone goes off and my mother set a reminder to go shopping before she gets home. Gavin and I go our separate ways. I gather the ingredients and pass by some shops that classmates go to. A few of the guys I hang out with were hanging around. I almost went up to talk to them, but the wind blew my hair out in front of me and it all came back to me, I am a girl… So instead, I walk to a booth nearby and eavesdrop. They were chatting about a new transfer student that will take away all the competition.

“It’s H Industries heir that is transferring.”

“Are you serious!? That’s one of the top companies in our city… Why to such a crappy school.”

“I don’t know but we gotta find out the juicy details… I’ve heard a bunch of rumors about him being an illegitimate child…”

Their words trailed off as my phone rang in my pocket.

“Hello?” My mother questioned my whereabouts on the other line. “In five minutes.” I slammed my phone shut before she could argue and I head home, still thinking about the rumor of a rich kid dropping in. I get home, race to my room like always and write about my day.

At school, I rubbed my eyes as Irisa greeted me and sat down. The teacher stormed in with and irritated look on his face. I barely paid attention to his words until a handsome figure walked in. A name was muttered that I didn’t hear. The teacher directed to sit in my row and when I got a good look at him, I was shocked.

“Gavin?”

“Yes dear.” He smirked. “Did you assume I was older than 21? I definitely knew you weren’t with one glance.” With that comment my face flushed.

“Sit with me at lunch.” He handed me a note with his name and number.

“If I say no?”

“It’s not an option.”

I feel like I have accomplished a lot of things today, I did stand up to someone who has been pushing my buttons and has been getting under my skin, of course that person denied doing anything to outcast me in any way. She later apologized to me for any actions that made me think that way. Work was pretty busy, it was memorial day weekend so everyone assumed that we were going to get wiped-out. I however, didn’t know what to expect, I have sadly been slacking a little bit the last few weeks, and it is sad to hear that from myself, but it is true. I am using this week to switch it around and I will successfully switch it around. I got a lot done today, I still have a lot to do tomorrow to attempt to get ahead of the game, but it won’t be as bad as it was today.

I just finished the book, The Fault In Our Stars by John Green and it was pretty unexpectedly intense. I cried a lot, let me tell you. I love books that bring so much emotion out of me. The other books that have done that were Memoirs of a Geisha Arthur Golden, White Oleander by Janet Fitch, and Allegiant by Veronica Roth. I love the books that make me cry or laugh or just plain feel emotion. 

I am actually proud of myself today, yeah I didn’t do a lot of the things that I wanted to do, but I did finish a book, and I didn’t spend the majority of my life off of work on the internet. I did talk to someone that I have wanted to talk to for a while, Skype preferably! We chatted for while and it is great, it made me pretty happy. I’m pretty sure that person doesn’t know how happy it makes me.

Thats all I can really think up right at the moment, my brain is sizzling out.

Memorial Day to an End

I’ve been pretty caught up with moving and lazing around the apartment, with my roommate Sam. It is a one bedroom apartment and I am probably going to invest in a better sofa or a futon of some sort so it can turn into a bed for me. It would be cool if this was a two bedroom, but that isn’t happening any time soon. I don’t know how long I am planning on staying here either, but I really want to get a place of my own, and still hang out with all the people I have been hanging out with.

Today was a busy day for me, it was my day off and my only one until the weekends. I went swimming today with my friend Alex. We got to Big Creek, it was cloudy, but humid and pretty warm. We set up our area and went straight for the water and I dove in first. It was cold but, you get used to it after a while. We swam around and chatted, and just had fun. When we got out of the water, we laid out and got our mild tanning on. A really cool thing that I saw there was the sand turtle and sand squid that was missing two arms. These few guys made it before we got there, and we checked it out when they left. Then later on some little kids messed it up, stupid. I saw a few people that I went to school with but they didn’t recognize my short hair, since I was growing it out in high-school. I thought it was amusing. 

I got home from the beach, changed and ate some late lunch/dinner. After a while, I sat on my make-shift bed/couch and watched more anime and then decided to head out to get a drink or something, I ended up going for a 30 minute bike ride all the way up first street and I even debated heading down by the lake since I was about a mile away from it. I chose not to since I was getting tired and didn’t want to get hit by a car. I headed home on the opposite side of the street and worked more on my tan lines, which happened effectively and you can clearly see a difference on where my shorts end and where my tank top starts! Perfect for the bikini weather, just kidding.

I ended up going back inside and laze around on the couch until now, where I am writing this before I head to bed since I need to do quite a few things tomorrow. I need to work my butt off since I’ve slacked, sadly. I’m to blame, so I just need to rebuild my structure there.

Summer That’s Rolling In

It’s already may, and I’ve done nothing outside. I am sitting in the library, typing this. I’ve been without internet at my new house since I moved in, and I will be getting some internet next month from my phone. I boosted up my plan so I can have high speed internet and mobile hot-spot.

Do you know what a fan-fic is? It is where a person takes a couple or a few of her favorite characters from a book, tv show, movie, etc and writes about them in any type of relationship with either another character or themselves. I write fan-fic’s about this boy I like and myself, I know it is creepy, but I also write stories that myself and another version of myself are chatting. It’s how I am planning on dealing with things from now on. 

This is a small update until I get full internet back, I can’t stay at the library forever. I’ll be writing down my thoughts in Word and continue my B.O.Y. story as well. Look forward to a bunch of stuff!