Author Archives: Paige

About Paige

Music inspires me, words create my world, love holds me together. I love photography, art, writing. Those are my hobbies. Even though life takes me to places that show me at my best and worst, I still appreciate it. All the things that I learn and experience; that is what makes me whole. Life in general is amazing to me, I want to live it to the fullest. I see my self as an author and an artist! I want to jot down all the details of the world and doodle all of the people I meet!

Inspire Everyone

I’ve been nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger award by Cyndelbee <- That is the post of her Very Inspiring Blogger award. I saw this comment pop up in my notifications a while ago, but I haven’t had time and I apologize. 

Thank you for nominating me, I feel very happy and excited that I read ‘very inspiring’ since that is what I try to do.

Here is the beautiful photograph!

Rules:

1. Thank and list the blogger who nominated you.
2. List the rules and display the award.
3. Share seven facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
5. Proudly display the award logo on your blog and follow the blogger who nominated you.

~

As rule number 3 states, I must share seven facts about myself.

1. I love improving myself, learning and finding things that can improve myself as a person, friend, and a lover (to anyone who choose’s me)

2. I will gladly spend more than 100 dollars on something that I have a strong desire for, even if it isn’t useful.

3. I have a strong desire to travel the world, by myself, even though I am slightly afraid to be alone.

4. I am becoming addicted to photography, and I feel like it is part of my calling in life.

5. I rarely get sick, but for some reason, I had Strep.

6. I love tattoo’s and I feel more like the person I want to be when I get tattoos.

7. I find it 100% easier to write down my thoughts and express myself better with words, and it amaze’s me that I can do that.

 

Okay, so now that I have shared some facts that no one knows, I have to nominate 15 bloggers but I feel only fair if I can nominate bloggers that make my knowledge expand. 

1.Cylithria

2. Live to Write – Write to Live

3. Irevuo

Idaho

I’m currently in Idaho, on m grandfathers laptop. He is in the kitchen making my grandmother a salad and my cousin is talking with her at the moment. I have a long week ahead of me and I hope to have a lot going on. I can probably do photoshoots of my cousins, who happen to be beautiful. 

I plan on taking a lot of photographs of the wilderness up here, it’s amazing already. Life seems to be good and clear up here, but that is probably because I am not going to be working, and I haven’t been here for a long time. I am going to make the best of the 11 days I have to spend here, and maybe someday I will move here. 

Airport

I am at the airport right now. Waiting for my 5:15 PM flight to Minneapolis, then I’m flying to Spokane. I’m going to see my grandparents for almost 2 weeks. I’m pretty excited. My friend who is in basic training is able to receive letters. I have yet to send him a letter, so I am going to send him one while I’m there. I feel a little guilty. I miss him.
I went to the Omaha zoo today, what I have seen today, it wasn’t very impressive. Some places were, but the animals were feeling bad because it was so hot and humid and that made my mood deplete. I do have to say that there were cool places and some places were under reconstruction. I will have to go again of course and actually get around the whole zoo and not idly waste time before my flight. I haven’t done much lately but I’m pretty excited for the 11 days I have planned in Idaho!

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday…

The days blend together like coffee and creamer. They seem to create one long line of my lifespan in which nothing new happens. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Monday though Friday, the same old routine. Wake up later than I should, get to work, work, get off of work and come home. On occasion, I will have a photo shoot to attend to, its rare though. Life has been a mess lately, I feel left out of a lot of things because of my own choices that are the correct ones, I know for a fact. Even though it makes me upset, somewhere in my mind, I don’t care at all.

I’ve learned that I am over-excitable when I am meshed with photography. I get geeky and weird when I notice that I take an amazing photo or that an unexpected photo turns out to be awesome! I get too excited for my own good and I feel like I scare people away. I also adore writing more and more, this post at the moment is written after I wrote another one since WordPress updated and doesn’t automatically save. I lost my words and decided to put it to rest for a day. I was going to write an apology for not being as active, I have been underwater for a while. I discovered that my love of writing/typing exceeded my expectations when I started writing this post. My train of thought blew up when I noticed the blank spaces and I just grabbed onto the fleeting inspiration and started to type about it. This probably doesn’t make very much sense.

I just want to say, that today is a very beautiful day, even though inside of my mind and heart a rain storm was taking place, my physical body was in bliss with the warm sunshine and the gentle breeze in the warm air. The day went by rather slowly and I began to hate myself more and more every few moments. I had a conversation with myself about what I didn’t like, it was more of an argument than a conversation. She would say something that would provoke me to yell inwardly towards her. It was sort of ridiculous, but that is how I try to get myself out of a stump.

I fell over a stump a few days ago and I’ve sunk under the fallen leaves of my happiness. Its been this way for a couple days, how covered I am. I need to focus on things that I love, when I am writing, I feel happy and at bliss. I can properly convey my feelings and thoughts, even though they still get jumbled up. I can’t properly talk, and all I do it spit out words. I am not allowed to think when I speak, I can’t remember exactly what I say, which is why writing is perfect for me. I can remember easier and it makes me feel like I am worth something more and that is a happy feeling. Its just like photography, I am doing something that I love, and it makes me feel like I am someone and that I exist.

I am currently writing many stories all at once, I am figuring out chapter seven of B.O.Y. since I am writing it as I go. It’s hard, I am already at a stump, I don’t want to put too little action and leave it boring, but I also don’t want to shorten the length of this story. I still don’t know where this is going to end up, but I have a shoujo idea in my head. I have too many ideas to comprehend and I need to write them all down before they fade away.

So I went to Wisconsin for the fourth of July weekend, and absolutely loved it. I adored returning home and experiencing the differences in then and now. I was reunited with my childhood friend, Emi. And that was like a scene from a book. In less than two weeks, I am going to Idaho again, to see my grandparents, and I am super excited! I can’t wait to see Idaho and where they live. I feel like going to these two places are going to be my deciding factors of where I am going to be living. I want to move out of Iowa and get a bigger picture. The inspiration is draining here and I feel like I have been here for too long. I am an adult now, and I want to fulfill my dream of experiencing the world. It is going to take a while but I am willing to try.

I have a lot of amazing pictures of my Wisconsin trip, check them out here!

It’s you

Your imperfections don’t matter to me, because I love you… for you.
That crooked smile? It’s quite charming.
Your laugh, which makes you throw your head back, its cute.
The way you talk with your hands, and throw them around in strange gestures, to me it is enthusiastic and adorable.
When you avoid eye contact when saying your feelings, it makes my heart warm and I love that.
The wrinkles at your eyes, when you smile, makes me want to caress your cheeks and meet your lips.
Your imperfections are more than one, and that’s beautiful to me.
You are beautiful to me, and I love you.
I love you for you, and your perfect imperfections make you… you.

I’ve been working a lot, and just recently, I went to Wisconsin and got back in contact with my childhood friend Emily. I got some amazing photos of fireworks and I even got some great architecture photos of downtown Milwaukee. When I got back, I’ve been doing a bunch of other things. I’ve been focusing on my camera and editing skills. I just had a photo shoot of my friend and her boyfriend. It was my first couple shoot’ and it turned out great. I got a lot of awesome photos and I still have more to edit and upload tonight.
Go check it out here!
I have a photoshoot on Sunday of my coworker and her child and I am trying to get more people to do it. I have yet to hear back from two people and I lost the number to another. I can apparently try to get hired at a photo studio in target or something. I’ll try that.

States Away

In a few states away, my grandmother was admitted into the hospital, her illness is yet to be determined, but I am worried. One reason: I was supposed to visit this week (June 21 through the 27) but I was unable to afford it on such short notice and so I moved it to late July/early August. Her health is not very well and my family and friends that I’ve told are worried. We hope that she will get better. 

This is just a short update, other writing of mine will be release this coming week.

Because Of You: Chapter Six

The classes went by steadily. I only have the first period with both Gavin and Irisa, and the rest are by myself. Gavin has yet to say anything about my hair, and I am curious to know how he recognized me. I sat at my desk as the teacher lectured. The note Gavin gave me weighed down my pocket and I couldn’t get his attitude out of my head. I dug through my desk quietly and brought out my calendar. I stared at the picture I drew of him and grabbed the paper. I unfolded it neatly and placed it next to the drawing.

Gavin Holm
xxx-xxx-xxxx

“So his name is Holm.” I thought back to the group of guys calling him an illegitimate child. I want to know if that is true, and I want to know his actual working situation. I thought and thought about his situation until my name was called.

“Nerine.” The teacher smacked my table with his ruler.

“Yes!” I stood up.

“What are you spacing off for? Are you okay?” He blabbed on about the lecture and told me to go to the hallway. I grabbed the slip of paper and walked into the hall and sat down.

“I guess this is my punishment.” I grabbed my phone and typed in Gavin’s number and saved it. I didn’t feel like messaging him. Right as I put my phone away, I heard footsteps down the hall.

“Nerine?” I looked down the hall, and Irisa was walking toward me with a hall pass. “What did you do?” She stood out of view from the door.

“I was spacing off and staring at the number I got from him.” I made a face and she knew exactly who I was talking about. I showed her the slip of paper and she told me that his handwriting was attractive.

“How is it attractive!?” I laughed and the teacher banged on the door. She quickly ran off and I walked into the classroom.

“Sit down, pay attention this time.” He declared. I nodded and took my seat.

The lunch bell rang and I got a message from Irisa about the meeting for lunch. My thoughts clashed in my head since I was supposed to go have lunch with Gavin as well. I decided to lean toward Irisa, I made plans with her first and I wanted to talk with her about this situation. I walked out of the classroom and turned the corner only to run into Gavin.

“I was coming to get you, my short-haired princess.” He smirked and messed with my wig gently.  “Come with me.” He pulled me down the hallway and into the park, the place we were heading to was the location on Irisa’s message. A few feet away I saw her sitting down on a checkered blanket with lunch boxes from the cafeteria.

“Welcome to my picnic party!” She laughed and spread her arms out. “Nerine, I invited Gavin, hope you don’t mind. I saw him walking towards your room and told him to get you.”

I sighed in relief. “It’s fine, I was going to eat lunch with you anyway even though this guy invited me too.”

“Well, you see. She came up to me after first class and talked to me about lunch since she over heard me telling you to come with me. I figured it is a win-win situation since I know no one else.” He laughed and sat down.

Irisa, Gavin, and I talked about the weekend and the summer plans coming up in a month or so. I start listening to Irisa talk about her family’s summer home and she actually invited me and Gavin to join her. Gavin said he would ask his work and I told her that I would ask my parents.

“So, Gavin, why did you transfer here?” Irisa questioned. I felt very awkward since I wanted to know but was afraid to ask about his situation, especially since I over heard people talking about it.

“Well, my father moved nearby and this school was the closest. I don’t live with him though. He is too much of a hard ass.” He scarfed down the rest of his food. “As if you haven’t heard the rumors, I am the heir to Holm industries but I don’t want to be. My dad is infuriated though, so I decided to move out.”

Most of my questions were answered but I decided not further the ‘interview’ with him. Gavin glanced over at me. He pointed at my head and changed the topic 180 degrees into my direction.

“Why are you wearing a wi-” I slammed my hands over his mouth.

“You are speaking too loud!” I said and he nodded, so I released him. I blurted out vague reasons and Irisa stared at me in disbelief.

“So, this is what you didn’t tell me at the club? I knew there was something off about your ‘height complex’ and since you didn’t really explain anymore details. Irisa gave him the same stare.

“You already knew some things?” She looked at him.

“You didn’t?” He laughed.

I blocked off their conversation with a probing question of my own. “Gavin! Why did you tell me you worked night-time at the club and what did you do during the day, and do you pay for your apartment? Or does your dad do it?” I spoke too fast for my own good and only stopped when he cleared his throat.

“1. I used to have a private tutor when I was younger so I already know the majority of the stuff they teach at this school. 2. I left my father’s house before he moved here and I have been living here for 2 1/2 years now above the club that I work at. I manage the night shifts. 3. I used to sell things during the day. 4. The club I work for gives me free food and living in exchange for me to work there. It is somewhat of a win-win situation again.” He sighed. “Did I expose too much?”

Irisa and I shook our heads and laughed at how open he is.

“Master Holm.” A butler appeared from behind him and grabbed Gavin’s arm. “Your father awaits your decision, you have been running for too long.”

Senses

Every sense in my body is for you. Every sense is used for you, and I cherish every bit of information I receive from my senses.

My Sight

I see you, here in front of me. I look at you, who is looking at me. Our eyes share a connection and no one else is in this moment. My eyes hold your gaze as we share secret conversations. My eyes expose my emotions, I look at you with sweet feelings of love and caring emotions. Hopefully, when you look into my eyes, you sense those feelings of longing and how I wish to be with you.

My Smell

I smell your must, your cologne, your sweat. I call it sexy, seductive, and somehow sweet. I can smell the things that make you, you. The faint smell of tobacco, the scent of sweat mixed with body wash and cologne. I can tell its you, and I breathe you in because it is so sweet and calming because you are this close to me.

My Hearing

Your voice, deep and strong. It swirls in my head as you tell me about yourself. You breathing is deep and relaxing, I match mine with yours. I hear you shuffling around while we sit facing each other. I hear my own thoughts about you and think about voicing them for our conversation. I don’t though. My ears wouldn’t be able to block your sweet voice’s response.

My Touch

I feel your words resonating through me as I lay my head on your chest. I feel your skin and your hair. You are right here. Your words hit home and I feel set aloft in this moment. You are here, caressing my skin and I can feel your touch, your callouses brushing against my arms and shoulders. I put my hands on your arms and feel your skin, I know that you are here in this moment, but I can feel that you are gently pushing me away, because you say you have to go.

My Taste

I can taste your lips against mine, its sweet. As we talk, I can taste the bitter thoughts in the back of my mouth. I swallow my thoughts and whisper other sweet words that tasted tart. You open your car door and the dull taste fills my mouth and I want to tell you not to leave, but you’d say that you have to and I don’t want to say my emotions. I kiss you once more, and the last thing that is left in my mouth is the sad taste of you leaving me here.