Monthly Archives: November 2011

December Never Ends

December Never Ends is a story that I have written between 2009-11′. It’s not that long, and I stopped for a year on writing it. I finished it during the school year and I never typed it up. Well, I decided that I don’t want it to sit on paper anymore, and I am going to type it up, then post it around the internet on various places to try to get it known. I might write other stories too after I am done and then maybe find out ways to become published. I don’t know.

But this is what I strive for, I want to go to college and become better at writing, and I want to become and author. I have no other ginormous dreams. Plus it will already be a bit of a hassle being someones wife, but it will be worth it. :)

Also, next semester in school, I am taking a Creative Writing class. It has DMACC credits and normal credits. There is a new law that says if you are not proficient on the ITEDS, I think, then you can not take classes that offer DMACC credit. :( So, sadly, I took that test and I was non-proficient in the math section, because I didn’t try hard. I should have tried hard.

Well… Today is a Wednesday, meaning late start for school. I am eating food so, I want to finish eating it. :)

A Life You’ll Never Love

(This is a short preview of a new story I am working on.)

 

I can’t remember anything before the age of five; it’s like a black screen, nothing was there… But, what I can remember is something I wish I would forget. I remember my fathers’ rough palm across my mouth, muffling my screams and cries. His dusty work pants expired around his ankles. His black belt tightened around my wrists, while the queen bed pound against the wall, while my mother screamed foul phrases with every hit. I remember my father taking his calloused hand and whip it across my cheeks, my back, my wrists. My father would take his belt and leave welts on the back of my thighs, my waist, my arms. There would be nasty, yellow bruises on my breasts, hips, neck. Across my thighs, and my wrists. They would never end just there…
I also remember my mothers harsh words brashing my face; “go to hell,” “you bitch!” “is there something wrong with you,” “you fucking whore!”
Words I never loved, words that lead to nothing but self-hate and depression. Words that eventually meant nothing. Mother verbally slapped my self esteem, day in and day out, she would taunt… belittle, and mutilate the love I had for my self until it disappeared alltogether.
At school, it was no different, besides the still atmosphere when I used to walk in with a bruise and a bandaid on my face. Teachers, parents, classmates; they wouldn’t ask, and I wouldn’t tell. The children ignored me, not a single one looked at me in the eyes, they stared at the visible pain on my face, wondering ‘what the fuck.’ Up until the bruises went away, the kids knowingly and publicly avoided me, but now, they just outcast me. They aren’t afraid anymore, these are just the type of people who socially outcast you. Rumors were spread around, so now, all the kids that know me and also the kids that don’t, they think I used to be in all sorts of fights. No one knew anything, no one knows the truth. 
Since I don’t get bruises on my face, they are left longer on every other part of my body. I guess my father doesn’t want to rape and ugly girl anymore.

10 years engraved on my life line.

If I had tens years remaining on my life span, would I really try to live differently? I am not quite sure. I mean, I tell myself all the time that I need to change how I do some things but I never really can do it. It just stops after a while. If I could change for my life, I would. I would change the way I treat people, I would probably try even better in school so I can get a good education, I would get more jobs so I can save up money to try and visit around the world, see the places I want to see. I would strive to become a writer, oh! This prompt just sparked some inspiration for me. Haha. Inspiration for a story. Now I am happy. I really want to change how I live, but for me it is like… I have to change something that I don't like first in order for me to change or else I will revert back, and I always do. But, this time, I will try and change, I have work now, so I can work at changing. Jumping out of my bubble. Being friendly and open minded. Maybe I will change for the better now. Hah. Well, I have to end this short or long jist of what I would do, and I have to go to work.

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11/11/11

Hello to 11/11/11 at 11 PM.
I woke up great today. I didn’t feel tired, the shower was just perfect and I didn’t feel like crap, I was however very cold. That is, however, besides the point. The point is, I think today, might have been one of the best days of this school year.
Let me tell you my steps into the great day.
After I got dressed and all, I had a bowl of cereal, I didn’t have to worry about any of my school supplies hanging around and being forgotten because, I always put them away before bed. Anyway, after I ate, I skimmed Facebook and deviantart then I had to leave to catch my bus. It actually wasn’t that bad, even though I wanted my own seat. :/
So I got to the shuttle bus to take my to the actual school, I was a bit irritated with everyone around me but my mood got better with time. :) I listened to lovely music provided by Adelitas Way. :D  I love their songs, awesomeness. Today also happened to be my Swedish friends birthday, so I was excited for that. I got to school, got chocolate milk and also had my own tea so I was set. It was delicious, :)
U.S. history was good, I have a C so I am happy, but not satisfied.
Algebra 2, I am not happy with that grade, but it bumped to a C, so I am still not satisfied.
In Chem, I have a C, Not satisfied still and I did so fun stuff. Quizzes. :D
Then I had Chinese, which is a B-. I am trying to get up to an A. But, I am partly satisfied for now. :) It turned out that Catherine, my Swedish friend, didn’t show so I was a bit upset and bored out of my mind.
Then I didn’t have P.E. (a B by the way) so I went to lunch with my boyfriend, we didn’t talk much, I thought he was irritated with me, later on that changed. :D
After that I hung out for second Lunch with my usual posse, who I am getting irritated of. Haha. Oh well. I am wanting to go to Palmers for lunch, but I have no way of getting their. :(
When I entered English, so bo~oring. Three speeches were held and they didn’t do well. One stuttered and choked but went on still, so I will give him that. Another didn’t have really interesting points, bad outline and conclusion was a “That’s it” Not got at all…. And the last, I don’t blame him, but I couldn’t understand because of his voice impediment. And he was nervous so he was tapping his shoes and it was really annoying. I also didn’t hear any thing about his notable person. I feel so mean. :/ Also, we started watching a movie, Freedom Writers. I like it so far, I can’t wait to finish it! It’s really interesting. :D
After English (also a C) I went to Algebra 2 lab, a class I don’t need really. My grade is a B. Anyway, half of the class was gone so we got snacks because it was my teachers birthday so he gave them to people. Half the class was gone due to a volleyball game they “went” too. I drew hearts all over the board so I am proud, haha. I finished my work. Then I have the last class as open campus.
I hung out with my lovely man, we talked, cuddled, and he slept on my lap. :D
Then, work. Palmers. I love it. Really. honestly, it’s really fun. My parents visited me and I joked around with them saying “I can spit in your food” Haha. It was fun, really fun. I loved it. Though my back and feet did hurt. I got a free salad and 40z of a Snicker Apple Salad. :)  It was yummy.
My salad consisted of; Spinach, romaine,and iceberg lettuce. It had carrots, peas, ,cucumbers, tomatoes, strawberries(bad choice), broccoli, egg, mandarin oranges(another bad choice), black berries(icky). The cheeses were cheddar and mozzarella, or however you spell it. I also had French Dressing. :)  yummy. yummy. It was also colorful. :D
Then I got home and now I have to go to bed. I work at 9 AM and got til’ 4 PM.
Goodnight’
Happy Vets day!